create a life that TURNS YOU ON - with Jessica Leroux

This is the first episode of Sacred Sexuality month on the podcast!! All of the January episodes are going to be going deeper into this topic and we have some amazing guests coming on!! I'm so excited!!!

Meet our first guest, Jessica Leroux! She's a life coach on a mission to help others get turned the fuck on by their life!! She is truly the living embodiment of her work and is unapologetically herself. In this episode, she shares her journey from losing herself in a long-term relationship to reclaiming her freedom and LOVE for her life!

In this episode, you'll learn:

✧ How to shift from being a victim to your circumstances to creating a life that turns you on

✧ The root cause of all discomfort and pain

✧ How to deal with the "asshole" thoughts in your brain

✧ How to feel safe when everything around you seems to be crumbling

✧ Why everything Jess does is for HERSELF

✧ How to intentionally create more joy, fun and pleasure in your life

✧ How Jess reclaimed her sexual sovereignty and pleasure by surrendering, trusting and being open to trying anything (including anal sex!)

✧ How being more open to receiving pleasure in sex unlocks your ability to receive more pleasure, joy and abundance in ALL areas of your life

🔮 Resources:

🔮 Mentioned in the episode:

Check Out Kim Anami's Vaginal Kung Fu Course here

@heckyescoachjess

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Full Episode Transcript:

Hello, and welcome to the magnetical you podcast. I'm your host Madison's or Diag, I'm a mindset energy coach here to help you feel your freaking best and manifest a life full of magic miracles and abundance. I know that whatever led you here did not happen by coincidence. So I am so excited and grateful to have you here. So let's let the magic begin. Hi, and welcome back to magnetically your podcast. I'm so so so excited for this episode and all the episodes this month because for all of January, I am making it sacred sexuality month on the podcast. So all of this got prompted when I took one of Kim adamis courses earlier this year. And it completely changed my life and opened me up to so much healing in terms of my sexual trauma, which I shared about a few episodes back, it kind of really opened the doorway for me to finally tell my parents about the sexual trauma experience as a child to share my story. And to begin helping others through healing, really, really deep trauma that is often taboo and really not talked about oftentimes brushed under the rug. So I started lifting, lifting a rug up through Canvas work and dusting out all the things underneath it. And so that was you know, one of the really big things that I began healing. And as I did that, it just really opened up so much for me, in terms of my sex life with Trevor, and just being able to receive and experience so much deeper pleasure and so much deeper connection with Trevor. And it was just so amazing. So I've been on this journey of healing Trevor and I recently hired a couples coach, that we're going to be continuing going deeper on this journey, and really using sex as a gateway to heal to transform using our relationship as a portal to heal, to transform to grow, to make our relationship and the pleasure that we get to create an experience together the best it could possibly be. So that's been really, really amazing. So this is like a big piece of the growth that I've been on in 2021. And I wanted to give you the chance to dive deeper into this work because it's changed my life so much. So we have some amazing, amazing guests. Coming on this month, this week, we have my friend Jess, she actually did one of Konami's courses before the round before I did it. So we talked about that. And the episodes on and this is just such a juicy episode. She like lives for making all the little moments and all the big moments in her life like the most pleasurable and just really creating a life that turns you on and lights you up. So this week's gonna be amazing. We have Kim Nami herself coming on the podcast, and she is really an expert in sacred sexuality. And she's her work is absolutely incredible. We have Dr. Sheila Campbell coming on. She is a Chinese medicine expert, and she does a special sexual trauma healing treatment that involves acupuncture. And it was such an amazing conversation. We have Jessica Scott coming on, who also does a lot of work in this area of relationships and feminine energy. And oh my gosh, this month is going to be so good. I'm going to be sharing more about my own journey and everything that's come up everything I've been through how it's shifted things for me for Trevor, and translated even into my business. And it's just been like a full comprehensive, like up level in this area. So I'm really, really excited. And because I loved Kim's course so much I asked her to become an affiliate. And she said yes, so she has another course opening up in February that I'm an affiliate for because her work changed my life so much. So I wanted to give you that opportunity. If you feel in alignment with checking that out, you can go into the shownotes click the link, check it out, see if it feels in alignment for you. And we also have all these amazing guests this month on the podcast if you feel like checking out their work as well. Go for it. I just wanted to give you as many options as possible to start opening yourself up deeper in this area going deeper in this area and allowing yourself to reap the life changing benefits. It sounds so funny to say it that way but I really mean it's like read the life changing benefits that I experienced. beginning this journey, and I feel like I've gotten so deep. And yet at the same time, I've really just scratched the surface. So there's just so much to uncover and heal and open magic to open up to through this journey that is just so exciting. So that's all about this month on the podcast. And then a couple other quick updates. And by the way, if you if I sound like I'm like, breathing, and you hear noises, bear with me, I'm on a walk, I felt inspired to record this intro, while I'm on a walk in the sunshine by the water in Florida with my family for the holidays. Because who wants to sit down at a computer in a dark room when you could be outside in the sunshine on the water like at my right? So yeah, amazing. I'm like so, so grateful that I've created a life in a business that allows me to just live my best life and then my business gets to be an extension of that. But anyways, that is the tangent. So also coming up in January, is first my free eight day meditation challenge that starting January sucks, it's gonna be so good, you're gonna get a meditation every day, delivered straight to your email. And you're gonna be able to on your own time, on demand, whenever during the day works for you, I'm going to be doing it with you. And we're also going to have a group boxer chat forever and doing the challenge to like, share a breakthrough to share wins, share the crazy weird things that come through in our meditations share the magic that comes through, share how we're feeling and just get that like accountability and support and hype. Basically, I'm doing this with a group of women who are also committed to these eight days of meditation. So it's gonna be so good, you're gonna be feeling amazing, really, really opening the doorway to hearing your intuition bar. And I'm just so excited for all magic and miracles and abundance that's gonna come through for everyone in this challenge. So if you want to sign up for that, go to magnetically you.com/eight day meditation, you can also go in the show notes and there'll be a link there. And then this is the longest most update heavy intro I've ever done. But so excited about all the things and I hope you are too so I wanted to make sure you know about all the juicy, amazing stuff coming up in January because we're starting 2022 hot, I'm feeling tired, and really, really connected to our intuition, our body and our natural essence. So second thing is January 25 through the 27th I'm going to be hosting a two to three day masterclass called energy, ecstasy. It is going to be like, Oh, just so, so good. I'm also seeing a hummingbird as I say this, I feel like that's like my little sign. That's exactly where I'm meant to be exactly what I'm meant to be saying right now. I'm not going to say much more about it yet. I'll be sharing more on my Instagram so make sure you're following me at Madison dot Arnhold and you can keep up to date with more information on that but it's just going to be such a fun, feel good super, super, super, super expansive, masterclass. Really focused on the energetics and feeling your fucking bust and through not through embodying that natural essence within you magnetizing so much magic into your life. So the link for that one isn't ready as I'm recording this but the signup link it will probably be ready soon. So check the show notes and or go to my medical you.com/energy ecstasy because by the time you're hearing this I probably will have it ready. If not, again, follow me on Instagram you'll see me sharing about it there. Okay, so that is all quick summary versus January sacred sexuality month it's gonna be a whole fucking vibe. If you want to go deeper check out Kim's course I would highly recommend it. The link is in the show notes you can dive into her free video series and then the course opens up February 12 I believe and you can use a link in the show notes is going to have all the information about the course and up until the course opens you'll be able to grab the free video series to kind of like feel into if it's right for you and also learn a ton from her free video series because they're so good. Second thing as a meditation challenge starting January 6, sign up link is in the show notes and then January 25 27th. Energy ecstasy masterclass. So, here we go into today's episode. I hope you enjoy and please reach out to me on Instagram letting me know You're excited for this month of sacred sexuality episodes. And what you would like to hear from me in terms of my journey, in terms of my relationship in terms of healing from sexual abuse in terms of Kim's course and how that can look. Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, anything you want me to cover on the podcast. I'm here for it all. And yeah, I hope you are. If you're listening to this right around the new year when it comes out, Happy New Year. I hope you have the most fucking magical year ever. And enjoy this episode and this month of amazing, amazing podcast. Hi, and welcome back to the magnetically you podcast. I am so excited to have Jessica LuBu here today. She is a life coach and she's just a bad bitch. And I met her through my coach Jen and she has worked with Jen and I started following her and reading her content and was just blown the fuck away by how authentic she is how in her power she is and how she's just truly living her best life in the most authentic way to her and helping other people do the same. So I was like, I've got to have her on the podcast. So here we are. So welcome, Jess. Thank you for having me. So happy to be here. Yeah, so excited. Um, okay, I actually have a question to start so where did the name heck yes, coach just come from cuz that's, that's her instagram name. If you're wondering. Yeah, my handle is heck yes, coach, just, um, I'm trying to remember where I think I was literally just like brainstorming, brainstorming names. And it sort of popped up. I was writing like, these lots of different things. And I was I was trying to, like, encompass also, what, what do I want to represent? And, like, initially, I would love to have like, Fuck, yeah. I'm all about like, like, like you. Yeah, like, like living a full life that you just like, love us so much. But then I was like, Okay, well, my name is Jess. So Fuck, yeah. Coach just doesn't really work. So it was like, Oh, heck, yes. That works. Heck, yes. Coach. Yes. And then in Swedish, because I live in Sweden. When you pronounce my name, like when they say my name in Swedish. It's Yes. J is like a y. So I was like, Heck, yes. Coach, Jess. It's like, yeah. I love it. I was so curious. Because it's a really Yeah, fun, unique game. But anyways, okay, so tell us a little bit about Yeah, what you do and kind of how, like, what your, what journey led you to becoming a coach? That's a great question. Obviously, well, I think what brings most of us coaches to this work is like, we probably at one point in our lives, fat like total shit. And really, really, were like, miserable, or even, like depressed. And I for me, it was I had been in a six year relationship that was like a very dysfunctional, and I completely felt like I lost who I was. And then when I decided to walk away from that, I was just like, how the hell did I let that happen? And then, like, I just got super interested in self development and that kind of stuff. And then one of my best friends actually, she recommended the life coach, Coach School podcast to me. And I started binging that I was like, Oh, my God, what is this? This is amazing. And then she had Brooke Castillo, who is the founder of The Life Coach School and has the podcast. She, um, she had an episode that was specifically for like, this is how you know if you should be a life coach. And it was like a list of things. And I was just taking them off one by one. I'm like, I have to fucking do this. So then I decided, like, literally after that podcast episode to become certified through the Life Coach School, and it has been quite the journey and in the best way, like, I can't imagine not doing what I'm doing now. Yeah, same. I'm like, I don't know how I like especially when I had a corporate job. Like, I, the day I left I was like, I will never work for someone else again, like it's just not me and not my life path. And yeah, it's like when you have like, I don't know, like entrepreneurship in your soul and like coaching in your soul. It's like, you can't you can't not at least that's how it feels for me. Yeah, absolutely. And I was honestly, I was fucking terrified, like taking the leap into doing this full time as an entrepreneur, because I've been like, I've had a corporate job or like, I've been an employee, my whole fucking life. I'm 37 now and this is like, the time where I'm jumping in as an entrepreneur and just like putting all my eggs, eggs in my basket, and like in me, Oh, I love Oh, my God is so good. What what do you think it was that allowed you to do that be like, yeah, like, Fuck, I'm putting all my eggs in my own basket. And like, you know, what was funny is like, at the beginning of this year, I had set two goals for this 2021 year, like one to quit my corporate job. And the second one was to like double my income for the year, and literally a month in to 2021. So at the end of January, my boss had a meeting with me and said, basically, your role is no longer needed. But we still want to have you in the company, we're offering you this role instead. And I was like, in shock, but in in the best way ever, because like, universe. Because like when, like, she was in this meeting with me and telling me this quote unquote, bad news, and I could not stop grinning, like from here, I was like, Are you kidding me right now? Like, you're giving me an out, like, without me having to, you know, quit. Yeah, on my own like, and because I don't want this other role that you're offering me, I'm getting a five month severance package. So it was literally like, handed to me on a silver platter. And that doesn't always happen to people. But it was it just everything felt like it was in such alignment. And it felt like the universe was like, you're ready for this. You can you can do this. And it was ultimately what I desired. It was the goal that I had made for myself for this year. And I was not at all attached to how it was supposed to happen. So one month in it fucking happened. And I was like, I was a bit freaked out too. Because I'm like, like, January, you know, was that this year? Yeah, this year. Okay. That was that's so interesting, because that's the same timing that I quit my corporate job. My last, I put in my notice at the end of January, my last day was February 5. And like you it kind of like happened on like a silver platter situation. But also not like I ended up getting moved into a different role that turned out where I ended up working with a boss who was like, very not not kind, we'll leave it at that. And it was my the catalyst I needed to like, honestly, like, get my shit together. And my bullet in my I don't even know what to say in my business. And then I was just like, having a conversation with her. And she was insulting the core of who I am so deeply. And in that moment, I was just like, I'm literally not available for this. And I told her to her face right then I'm like, sorry, I have to interrupt you. Like I'm actually putting in my two weeks notice right now. And it's just like, I just wasn't available to go on any longer. But it sounds like we both kind of had experience where it was like just so clearly like, this is the time this is the moment this is the now so for someone who hasn't had that moment yet, like do you think it's a moment that always comes for everyone? Or do you how do you think like, for someone in that situation? They would know when one is right for them? Well, okay, I left a bit of a part out in this whole story to literally the day before my boss like booked this meeting to have with me to tell me the news. I had a session with my coach. And it just became so apparent to me what my purpose was like that I'm an expert at living my life to the fullest having so much fun and loving everything that I do, even if it's like doing dishes or laundry, like, I put everything into it, and I enjoy it to the max. And like, it was like an epiphany that happened on that day. And like, I had tears in my eyes. I took a selfie because I didn't want to forget that moment. And then literally the next day, I was like, told, but you can take this, or you can have this cyber, in fact, it's like, wow, oh, my gosh, that's so incredible. Okay, that actually, I would like to feel happier while I'm doing the dish. So can you tell us like yeah, like, how, how do we develop that where it's like, it doesn't matter. Like what you're in, you're in it, and you're choosing to like, love and appreciate and receive all there is from that experience? Yeah, so there's, there's always two sides to everything, right? You can look at the pile of dishes and be like, Fuck, I don't want to do that. Or you can think of like, I just had the most amazing meal ever. And I'm so grateful that like, I used to be a chef. So I'm so grateful for my cooking skills. And the fact that I just ate an amazing meal. And I love having clean dishes or a clean kitchen. Right? So and then usually I always put on music and like, fucking grind dance as, as I'm doing the dishes. Same thing with laundry, I'll put on like a podcast in my ear pods. And just like, you know, enjoy it. I love having clean clothes that smell really good. You know, like I focus on the results or like what it gives rather than like the task at hand. Yeah, like what you can receive from it. And also intentionally like turning it into a practice that you can enjoy with like music or other other things like that. So good. Okay, I've actually seen your elaborate, beautiful breakfast on Instagram. So it makes sense now to know that you were a chef, but I think that there's you know, it's like ooh, breakfast like, you know how how like silly but actually it's not because I think you're so intentional about it and I can see that like it's not about like breakfast or even like a pretty like photo for you. It's like literally like such an intentional practice in like creating love for your life and pleasure for yourself. And like honestly, yeah, putting more eggs in your own basket also had love how the egg analogy to breakfast. But yeah, like what what is it about you that like? I don't know, like, what would you say about that practice? Because I think there's something so special to that about leaning into the like pleasures of life and its experiences. Yeah, so one of the things I love to say I think it even says it on my Instagram account is like, I think I call myself the the turned on coach. And I mean that in like all aspects not just sexually, but it's like finding the simple pleasures of life. And the way you do that is to be present. What the fuck are you eating in the morning? Are you waking up half an hour before you have to leave to go to work? And just like stressing yourself out? Or are you creating a sanctuary like a space for you to fuel yourself? I'm a very visual person and I love beautiful things. And so for me with my food, especially breakfast breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. I eat with my eyes first and we all do but we might not actually think of using all our sensations in the things that we do for me it's it's not just about what I'm getting in my body as fuel what I need for the day it's like how can I make it so pleasurable and just delicious? Oh, my God, I love that it's so good. I think yeah, it's just like you're you're so clearly like the embodiment of that of like living a life that turns you the fuck on. What else do you do in your life that turns you the fuck on like you're amazing breakfast. I just like honestly, I take care of myself, I put myself first no matter what I do, what I want to do, and if it's to help a friend or if it's like, I don't know to be on my own, or to go on a date. Like I literally I put intention in every single thing that I I do. And I actually didn't really think about this until now, like when we're actually talking about it. But when I when I look back at the shit that I do, it's like I'm very intentional. All areas and I'm even intentional if I choose to scroll on social media or play a game in my phone. It gets like I'm very in it and aware of what I'm doing. It's not like I'm quote unquote wasting time. I'm like, enjoying it doing it because I want to. So I, I journal every morning, for instance, and I started tapping with gala darling, my God. So good. Yeah, I love it. And, yeah, I just, I go to the gym three times a week, and it's literally everything I do is for me. And then that creates a life of abundance and pleasure. And I'm just like, turned on by everything that I do. Like, for me? Yes. I feel like you're just granted everyone listening so much permission to like, do like, how you said, like, everything I do is for me, like, how, how did you become the person that's like, yeah, able to lean into that, because I think there's just so much fear and conditioning, like, Oh, my God, like, what if I hurt someone's feelings? Or like is that is that selfish? And like, gotta give to all these other people and like people pleasing, and you're just so unapologetically willing to put yourself first, like, how did you? Like, I guess, like, step into that? Yeah, cuz I mean, like, I think we all have people pleasing tendencies. And what changed it for me was that I just started noticing how I felt when I was doing things. And like, most of the time, like, you could you could be invited to a dinner and you really don't feel like going. But you go anyway, because you've been invited. And it's the polite thing to do. And all that. But then like, I just went deeper into like, Okay, why don't I want to go? And is it actually fun for the hosts to receive a guest that doesn't want to be there? So good. So it's like, I'm just being honest with myself. And like, if I don't if it doesn't feel good for me, then it's not going to be good for the other person. Yeah, I 100% agree. It's like what's like, it's just a willingness to trust that what's in our highest alignment is also for the highest good and like, what if that gets to be true for every single one of us? And what if we all lived that way? Like, what the fuck would that open world? And like, the people who actually give a shit about you and care about you, if you're honest with them, and be like, You know what, I just like, I don't feel like coming right now. Like today. Can we raincheck or like, just, I, I'm not interested in doing this thing. Like, I'm sorry, if you're open and honest about it, and the people who really care about you, they will understand, they wouldn't be like, Okay, that's totally fine. Don't worry. No, honestly love you even more for that. This like brings up so at my bachelorette party this weekend, my friends were really sweet. And like a rat went around the table and said their favorite things about me. And one of my friends said that, like said that I have such a strong sense of self. And I'm not willing to bend that for anything or anyone. And like, I think most people might, you know, a lot of people would like be like, ah, like, really, like taken aback by that. But like, that's, she thought that was literally the best thing about me. And she was able to see that and honor that and love that in me. And then it's like, also great for me, right? Because it's like, I'm living in alignment with my truth. And then also like giving even her permission to live in that way for herself. She's like, I literally learned so much living with you. Because I was saying yes to everyone and everything that I didn't actually want to fucking do. And you're, you're over here, like, I don't fucking do anything I don't want to do and it's like, we don't have to, like we make our own fucking rules and our own life. And yeah, it's a sad life when you think you're at the mercy of other people's rules and expectations of you. Yeah, and it's the the crazy thing is like society calls it being selfish, you know, like, but it makes no sense. Like, we each have our own lives, right? Like, we're the star. We're the main character in our lives. So why the fuck wouldn't our life be about us and what? Like, it's supposed to be selfish. And like, I think I think selfish has gotten the negative, like connotation into it, but it's not negative. The more you take care of yourself, the better you'll be able to help and take care of others. That's just like how it works. Yes. Oh my god. So, so true. So I was I was reading your website before we got on here just like thinking of the things I wanted to talk to you about. And I saw like something you said that like, before you were really living as like a victim to your circumstances. And you know, now you're the kind of person who's creating your life creating how you're thinking and creating how you're feeling like, how did you begin to make that shift from feeling like, you know, and you know, you can actually tell me how it feels. But I would imagine, it's like my experience of being a victim circuses, like all this, like, everything's like happening to me and like, little sucks, like, here I am just have to ride out this miserable shit. So yeah, I would love to hear Yeah, your thoughts on that? Yeah. So I can give some examples of what it was like being in that victim mindset. Like it was when I was in that six year relationship. Literally, every single thing he did, I made it mean, he didn't love me. Like, I made everything about me. Now, that's fucking selfish. Right? But it's like, I put all of my like, emotions, every way that I felt was because of something he did or didn't do. I did not take any ownership for anything that I felt. And that I was like a complete victim to that. And it wasn't only in the relationship, it was at work, too. When other people got promotions, and I didn't, I was like, You stole my opportunity kind of thing. Instead of like, seeing Okay, what am I not doing? You know, like, totally, always putting the blame on others, instead of being responsible for my own thing. And when I, I was like, so fucking miserable, and depressed. And it was like, This isn't me. I don't recognize myself, I don't know who this is. And so it took leaving that relationship. And then after that, it's it's been like, it's an ongoing process. It's a never ending process, I would say. But step by step, I started reading books, I started going to like self development courses, those kinds of things. And I remember the thing, I think that like, changed my life completely, or when I realized this whole victim thing was when one of the lectures in this course I took about, like creating your dream life, basically. She said, You don't have to believe all of your thoughts, like all the thoughts that you have in your brain are not true. And I was like, what? I was literally like, mind explosion, like, God struck just like, What do you mean? And then she was giving examples of like, I think she was she she used her own life example was, every time she'd hear an ambulance, like, go by on the street, she would freak out and feel so bad, because she was like, No, somebody is dying, or someone's hurt. And it's like, Fuck, it's so painful. It was so painful for her every time she heard an ambulance. And that was the thought she had. And then she realized she didn't actually have to believe that thought she could choose a different thought that was empowering. And now every time she sees it, she hears an ambulance. It's like, Oh, thank goodness, they're going to help someone, they're going to rescue somebody. And that, like completely changed her life. And that was like, such a tangible example for me to see, like, holy shit. I have I had such victim mentality around money, for instance, like such a scarce money mindset, as well. And it was just like, there's never enough. I I'm never gonna make like, it never even occurred to me that I could make a million dollars at that point that was like, not on my radar whatsoever. Now, I'm like, I'm gonna be a millionaire, you know? Oh, wow. That's so powerful. And yeah, it's like the it's like I think it's because Steve has said this before. It's like thoughts are just sentences in your brain, right? Like when we it's when we identify so closely with them as truth and as who we are that we feel like shit. And we when we when you feel like shit, it's because your something in some thought loop is telling a lie. Like the feeling you get from the thought is literally telling you like, that's some fucking bullshit. Like it's your body being like that's bullshit, right like, and it's I think, a practice of developing an awareness and then being open and willing to shift like what is it for you like when you do notice your your brain coming up with I think you've called him those thoughts? Yeah, honestly, I don't think I I even have that many anymore. Of course when they come up, I questioned them right away. I'm like, Okay, what are you here to teach me or to tell me there's clearly something here that I still don't quite believe is possible for me. But I, I don't make it mean anything about me anymore. The same way, like, when other people do shit, it means nothing about me, whatsoever. When I'm triggered by someone, it's like that that's a reflection on me. Like, where? Why am I triggered. And my biggest like, thing that I want to achieve in my lifetime is to be able to love everybody unconditionally. Like literally without condition. And the people that trigger me the most are the closest to me, like my mother, for instance. And every time I get triggered, it's a chance for me to step into loving her unconditionally, like an invitation or portal into into that. Wow, yeah. Because her thoughts are hers. And they actually have nothing to do with me, even though they could be about me in her mind. They don't mean anything about me. Yeah, so that is like, the biggest shift for me has been first of all, becoming aware that I did not have to believe all the shit. All the 70,000 thoughts we have a day in our brain. And and then like, questioning, just fucking questioning every single one. Yes. And like seeing seeing them for the lies. Yeah, are and then yeah, it's like, how do you like connect with them with the like your truth? So like, I know you you're like amazing at this, because you're an inner voice facilitator too, aren't you? Yeah. So you're like an expert at tapping into your inner voice. And I, I use my body I think I listen to how it feels. inside my body. If I feel any kind of stress or anxiety or like a pit in my stomach, if anything is uncomfortable. That's where I start. And then I look at like, Okay, why am I feeling this way? And then, usually I'll find out by asking that question, and then I'm like, is it true? Is this actually true? Or is it just the thought? And then my inner voice or like, my inner wisdom is always like, No, it's not. You know, better? Like, you know, and actually, I read this book recently. I don't know if you've read it. It's called busting loose from the money game. I haven't. It has like blown my mind because he's, he's super Woo. Like he's saying that like, literally everything is an illusion. Nothing is real money isn't real. Like, you're not real. I'm not real. Like this is all created by consciousness. Yes, in the 3d like world, so I'm like, Well, if nothing is real, then why won't why don't I want to create all the fun things in the world? Like, problems aren't real. So then I don't have any fucking problem is like blown my mind in a way where I'm just like, nothing's fucking real. Nothing matters in like the best way. It's like, like the things that serious Yeah, nothing matters. So everything matters. And I've heard that quote before, and I've been like, what does what do you mean? I don't understand. But now I get it. Like in inside of me. It's like if everything is an illusion, and my reality is 100% created by me then Why not only do what lights me the fuck up? That turns me on. And it's like, as soon as the problem arises, it's, it's an opportunity to go towards it and like, poof, make it disappear because it doesn't exist anyway, it's not real. That makes you think of this book I read called dissolve the problem by Richard dots. And it's basically that same idea. It's like problems are literally not real, except in your mind. And if you like, decide it's not a problem, it disappears and like, it's yeah, it's like really wild when you like, think about, like, how we literally have the power to dissolve a problem in an instant by choosing to decide. It's not a problem. Yeah, it's so insane. Okay, I also wanted to ask you, I know you took Kim adamis Well fucked woman course. And I just finished that as well. And it was so damn good. And like life changing for me. And I know we've talked about and that you had, like, some amazing experiences with it. And I think, yeah, like, sex and sexual energy. And our sexual expression is definitely something that's like, so like, dimmed in our society and so taboo, and like, even I'm even, like, a little bit uncomfortable, like wanting to, like have this conversation on the podcast, but I'm just at the point where just like, Fuck it, here we go, right, like, I'm gonna go with go with the discomfort. But I would love to hear Yeah, what that like journey was like, for, for you, and anything you want to share from that. Okay, I'm gonna be really honest and open with you. I'm ready. Your podcast listeners are in for a treat. So, I think the thing that has transformed me the most from that course, was like, becoming open to everything. And what I mean by that is like, being willing to try all the things sexually anal in specific, like more specifics. One of my really, really good friends is like a big advocate for it. And she has been for quite a long time. And I was terrified as fuck, like, I was like, No way Is anything going up my butt. I love having this conversation, by the way, cuz it's just like, the shit needs to be talked about. And like, I feel like it's like for people who are interested or like have done or haven't done or maybe want to do it or maybe want to become more open. It's like, it's so it's so much easier when you hear people like talking about it and sharing openly. And like, there's actually nothing to feel fucking weird about. So anyways, keep going. Yeah. Yeah. So like, I was terrified of it. You know, I think most people are just like, the idea of it. And like, your brain obviously, has a million scary thoughts about it. Like, that's not meant for things going in. It's only meant for things going out. But like, the way that Kim Inami talked about it, yeah, of course, it was all it. It was all about like trust and really surrendering to your partner and to like receiving in a way that is so vulnerable. Like there's there's a level of trust involved because obviously, it's like, a lot tighter and like there's a lot of nerve endings there a lot more. And it's it's super super sensitive. So it's like, you really really have to trust and like just let go because if you're if you're a tight ass like if your contract is nice not going to be that's where that saying. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. So like, for me, that's what intrigued me. When she explained it in that way. I was like, who I want to feel that level of released and then like that, and now like, it's my favorite thing ever. I love it. Yeah. Like yeah, it's like sex can be such like a spiritual practice and like, such an opportunity for both people to like, give and receive and like, like you were saying earlier is like step into that unconditional love and an openness and like, I know for me, like I still have so much work to do on the openness front from I, you know, just started sharing my story about how I was sexually abused when I was 11. And like, I put up so many like energetic, physical, emotional So all the all the walls, and I've been with my partner for seven years now and I'm still shedding more of those layers and more of those walls. And it's like, it's really a practice like you said in be creating that like openness and that surrender and that trust and it's like in that space like we have we just get to receive so much and like it's so powerful to just it's like a you learn how to allow in more pleasure. And when you can learn how to allow and more pleasure in sex you can learn how to allow and more pleasure in all areas of your life like yes, in your relationship. Yes. In the communication. Yes. In the sex. Yes. With money. Yes. Was what whatever the fuck else? Yes with your breakfast, because you've become the person who is open and available to receive all the pleasure that's always available to us. Exactly. And I think another thing that shifted for me like sexually was that I think like society as well tells women that we're like, kind of an object for men, right. And when I, I feel like I've been very sexual my whole life, but it felt like I was doing it for others, again, people pleasing, right, like, not really having many orgasms during sex, like it was about the guy finishing a lot more than me, like receiving any sort of pleasure. And I just realized how wrong that was. And how I, like our female anatomy is literally made for us to receive pleasure. Yes. And it's like, I decided, or I think through experimenting, and this it, it's allowed me to feel safe in my body, and to feel trust within myself. And creating that safety within me meant as well that I was a lot more open to receiving but also, not I'm not talking about sex right now. But it's like, no matter what happens externally, like we put a lot of safety in, in like external things, right? A job, like career or relationship, a house and family and that like everything external, but when you can create that safety within yourself, it doesn't like, literally you could have no nothing external working for you, like shit is hitting the fan. And then you're still like certain that you're going to be okay, because the safety is within you. And within your body and in your mind. And in your heart. You know, so it's like, I don't know where I was going with this. But I love where it's going. What do you call it? Yeah. Like how do you cultivate that? Safety and groundedness within yourself. And like, I think you another thing I wrote down that you said that I really loved was any kind of pain or discomfort you may experience you may be experiencing is due to not accepting life as it is. And I think it's the same thing with like just talking about, like, we're waiting on everything outside of us to be a certain way before we can allow ourselves to feel how we want to feel. And it's like when we can create that like safety and those feelings from within. It's like we aren't reliant on things outside of us, like happening in a particular way. So how did you How do you like think that we begin that process of letting go of attaching so much to what's happening outside of us and accepting what is and finding that safety, uncertainty and groundedness? Like, truly, deeply within? Yeah, like, I think it's like when the rubber hits the road. It's like, when that shit actually happens. That's when you really get to see where you're at. And how safe you actually feel in your body. And with yourself, how deep do you trust yourself? How much do you love yourself? when shit hits the fan when things don't go the way you expected them to? And then when that happens, you realize that like, there's no such thing as certainty and our brain level To be certain our brain hates the unknown. But when you are in it, you realize that like, there is no such thing as certainty. The only thing that's certain is fucking death. We're all gonna die. But it's like, how do you create that certainty within yourself? Because if you can create that safety and certainty within you, regardless of anything happening externally, then you will always be okay. And I think, for me, it occurred, it happened through like going through it going through getting these things taken away from me, you know, like, I'm currently in a place right now where I don't have that severance package anymore. I have no no income, no security in the like, in a recurring paycheck. I don't have any clients right now, either. Right? And it's like, for a long time, I was afraid to admit that even because, oh, what are people gonna think of me. But now like that, that thought, means that I was attached to a certain outcome. So and now, because I'm so certain within me that this is like, totally temporary, it means nothing about me, I'm not attaching any kind of like, expectation to it, and what it means that like, I don't give a shit. I'm, I'm totally willing to talking to talk about all of the things now, because I know who I am. And I know I am capable of making money. And I believe making money is so fucking fun, too. So oh, it's no big deal? Yes. Yeah, I think there's so much power and like sharing those things that we're afraid to say or that we think people think this about us or that about us, like, oh, my gosh, what would what would you say to someone listening? Who has a thing like that, that they're holding back, like, from sharing, because they're afraid of what people are gonna think like, what would you what would you say to them? I think first and foremost, you have to admit it to yourself. Like, it's one thing to be afraid to tell others, but like, own it, own it yourself first. Because when you when you own it yourself, then it's not as scary to talk about. And then maybe just choose one person that you would like to share this with. It doesn't have to be to the whole world, or on social media or anything like that. You can literally just choose one person. It could be someone close to you, it could be even a complete stranger, because they don't actually know they're not actually involved in whatever happened. Or no matter what it is. Sometimes it's easier to speak to a stranger. And I mean, if someone is listening, listening to this, and feeling like they don't have someone to talk to or are afraid, then like, I think you both you and I are a safe space here. Absolutely. Yeah. So reach out. There's like, Absolutely, we're here. That's what we receive. Oh my gosh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, this has been so good. And yeah, you really just are like, such a living embodiment of what you teach and like living in the authentic expression of who you are, and unapologetically who you are and in your truth and in your life, and I think, yeah, it's just like, so. So like, amazing. So is there anything else before I have you share wherever and can find you and work with you and all the things Is there anything else that's on your heart today to share that we didn't cover? I think people need to realize that life is a fucking game. And if you are losing a fighting game over and over again, like it's time to pick a new game, one where you are winning all the fucking time and there's no such thing as you have to win some to lose some or whatever, you have to lose some wins. I don't even know how to say this. But my point is like you're you are allowed to create a win win world and life for yourself. You don't have to sacrifice anything. So I just like this is what I did. For I want to be an example of doing that, and I want to help people do that for themselves. So, yeah, gosh, this is so good. Thank you so much. So where can everyone find you and work with you? Yeah, so the easiest way is just to find me on Instagram. Heck, yes, coach, Jess and then just DM me there. I work with clients one on one for six months. So amazing. Yeah, thank you so much. And thank you everybody listening. If this episode spoke to you, please screenshot it and tag us on Instagram. We would love to hear from you and you have probably reshare and I'm not don't want to speak for you just for like, I'll reshare it I'm sure I'm probably Luli um, but anyways, thank you everyone for listening. And I will see you on the next episode. And thank you just so much. Thank you. It's been a pleasure. Thank you so much for listening to the magnetically you podcast. If this episode serve, do I ask that you share it with someone who could make a difference for or share it on social media and tag me at magnetically you? Make sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss any of the magic. And it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review on iTunes. Thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart for being here. And I will see you in the next episode.