how to manifest your soulmate - with Emyrald Sinclaire

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the magnetically youth podcast. My name is Madison Surdyke. And I'm a master mindset coach and food freedom expert. You're in the right place. If you want to manifest a life It means you jump out of bed excited if every morning, reprogram your mind for success and happiness, do your best and become magnetic to everything you desire. For me healing my relationship with food was my gateway into mindset, spiritual and personal development. And now I am obsessed, and I realized the same thing became true for so many of the women. I've coached through my course the subtle art of food freedom, and doing the inner work around food became about so much more than food for all of us. So that's what this podcast is really about that expansion, expanding that inner work to all areas of our life so that we can become the most magnetic confident versions of ourselves and achieve our biggest dreams. If you're like me, and you're obsessed with personal development, then you are going to love this podcast. So let's freakin do this. Hi, and welcome back to the magnetical you a podcast. I'm so excited to have Emerald Sinclair here today, we connected on Instagram and immediately we're like, Okay, well, like we are vibing We must get on each other's podcast. So she's here with me today. I'm going on her podcast next week, we're just going to talk about some amazing stuff, create some magic, see, see where we're led and guided. But she is a love and manifestation coach guiding women towards deeper self love, which results in happy and healthy partnerships with amazing men. And her book destination soulmate is available on Amazon. And you can catch more of her on her podcast manifest it all. So welcome, Emerald, so excited to have you here. Yay. Thank you, Madison, I am pumped to be here. And I know we're just going to drop so many profound wisdom bombs on your audience. Yeah, I'm ready for it. Okay, so for wisdom bomb number one. You can I'm just gonna Can you tell us a little bit more about you and your story and kind of what led you to know what you're doing today? And where you are today? Sure. Yeah. Okay. So my dad is a hypnotherapist, and at about high school age is when he started putting some books in my mind around how your internal reality affects your external reality. And I don't think he was really calling it law of attraction at the time, but it was more so like, if you've got these subconscious belief systems running the show is going to affect your life today, like belief systems around I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable. And the challenging thing is most of this is created prior to seven years old because your brain is in a completely different pattern. And so you're taking it all in. And so from high school, that's when I started to learn these things. But then he was also putting more metaphysical spiritual texts in my brain, like conversations with God. But then like Rich Dad, Poor Dad. And so I actually grew up with my mom, because my parents were divorced. And so my dad felt like, well, I want to have an influence like your mom, you live with her. She's offering her influence, like you're going to church with her and she's sharing with you her belief system. So I want to share with you mine. And that just always got the wheels turning of like, wow, there's something deeper going on, like, My thoughts are creating my reality. But my unconscious thoughts could be getting in my way, like, what is this? So then fast forward, I'm a woman in her 20s. And even before that in college, and like I just want to be loved. And yet it was one relationship after another where the man just didn't treat me well, I wasn't good enough, they hit it and quit it, like the entire spectrum of dating and love and relationship mistakes I have made. And I put a lot of them in my book. Because ultimately, I want women to know like, I've been there, I've done it all. And I can still like get up here to this amazing space of relationships and self love. And so throughout my 20s it was very much a journey of Okay, I understand everything about my thoughts creating my reality and subconscious blocks. And yet, why don't I have the relationship I desire? Why are all of my relationships seemingly messed up on some level? And so this prompted my own journey of figuring it out for me reading the books and rolling in the courses, hiring coaches, going on retreats, it was just, I want love Why don't I have it? What's wrong with me even though I had that background knowledge. And so at about 28 I finally attracted in a really great guy. With all this work, I had been done, and he and I stayed together for almost five years. He was part of the impetus of when I started my love coaching business because it was like, finally, look at how far I've come. I want to teach women the same tools that I use to get to where I am. And that's what started the business like he and I are no longer together. But he was a beautiful part of my journey. And you know, I think some relationships are meant to be stepping stones in order to prepare you for that much more unique life long type three partnership, let's just call it. So that's the short story of how I got to where I am today doing what I'm doing. So good. And I love that you said like some people are meant to kind of like expand you to that next level, I posted something kind of about this on Instagram the other day about how like, the universe is always giving us the experiences and circumstances and situations that we need to expand to that next level. So if you're like feeling like, why isn't working for me, or why don't I have the person or whatever it is, it's just like, know that, like everything you're going through right now is like the perfect circumstance that's preparing you to expand yourself to open and receive even more even better. Yes, and I have just recently gone through another breakup. And I've been very public about it on Instagram and Facebook and with my following because I want people to know that, like, so Kurt was the greatest man I had manifested so far. But of course, it's a no brainer. If you're in the spiritual development path, every relationship really should be the best relationship you've ever been in because you're more aligned to who you are and what you want. And in my relationship before Kurt, there was some things that weren't being met. And so that was creating a strong desire for those things. And then Kurt stepped in and met those. Now you fast forward a year and a half. And you don't know what you don't know, he wasn't able to meet me at that level of commitment that I desired. But I didn't know that about myself a year and a half ago when we met. And so that's why there was nothing wrong with it. I bless him, I love him. We're still friends, it was he helped me get ready. And now I can say I'm honestly ready for that level of commitment and partnership that I've never been ready before. But without Kurt, how could I get to this point that I'm at. And then I also a year and a half ago, when I met Kurt, if I would have met him a year and a half prior, I wouldn't have been ready for him, he wouldn't have been ready for me. And so that's really a strong message that I have been sharing a lot with my community is relationships aren't failures, if you're learning from them, and you're growing, they steppingstones preparing you for that next higher level evolution. And I absolutely believe that we can have lifelong partners. But there's really no way of knowing if that person is a reason, a season or a lifetime. You just have to continue to be honest with yourself about your needs and your desires. And are they being mad? And are you happy? And are you growing and from day one, Kurt and I were always both committed to our individual connection to our higher selves. That was number one, the relationship came second. And we'd always said like, if that's not being met, then we'll lovingly go separate ways. And it came to that point where we had to choose our higher selves and our own individual needs above the partnership. That's so powerful that you like share all of that. So vulnerably and vulnerably. And I think so many. So many people need to hear that. And I really just love how you speak of him so highly. And, you know, you said like you You know, send you bless him and send him love or something along those lines. So for someone who, like maybe just had a breakup or has had a breakup recently, and still has a lot of kind of like lingering like resentment, they're just like holding on to that. How can How can they shift into, you know, blessing and loving and releasing that relationship so that they can open themselves up for their, you know, the next relationship? Yeah, beautiful question. And it's interesting, you asked that because I have been voice note team, the entire breakout process since October. And all the tools and processes that I have been doing because I think it's really important. Like we have to close it and heal it. And so whenever someone is in this space of let's say, anger or resentment no matter what the situation is, I always give a woman two journal prompts, which is, what's the lesson here? And how is this working in my favor. So when you can shift and start to see the lesson and how this is working in your favor, it pulls you out of that victim mentality of he hurt me he wronged me, I can't believe he would do that to me. Because you are a conscious creator and we live in an attraction based universe you attracted this person and he was your match. You are available for it. There is a lesson there. And when you learn the lesson, you don't repeat it or if you do I think about it has an upward cycle spiral. Like you might come around to the lesson again, but you're at a different vibration and so you're gonna learn different things. And so that's always what I will have women focus on First, and then there's other aspects like you can write down. I posted it on my Instagram as well. Hopefully I can curse on your podcast, but I'll welcome but no rules. Okay? Um, but I always invite people like, write a fuck you letter, like, get it all out get all the pettiness down as like as much as I love Kurt, there was still a part of me that was like what? Why would you get in a relationship with a love coach if you don't want commitment and you didn't want to live together? Like what the fuck is wrong with you something I just let it all out. And that's an important part of the process too. You can't stuff the emotion. So get it out, be angry. But then what's the other way? Did you send it to him? Or Oh, no, no, no. Double check, make sure everyone knows. No, no one's ever seen it. It was just for me. Right? Yes. Okay, get it all out. I don't want those feelings me. So I got out all the anger. And then I was able to shift to Alright, what was all the blessings of this relationship? What did I learn? And then I just filled pages upon pages upon pages of all the blessings and everything I learned. And then how is this working out in my favor, and like I've already shared, he got me ready, I wasn't ready for that level of partnership. Like I was just getting out of a five year domestic relationship. The last thing I wanted was, Hey, who can I go live with next? Like I wasn't looking for that. So these are the tools that I think are important that you get out the anger, you get out the emotion, but then you shift your focus to what's the lesson? How is this working out for me? But then even more? So what am I calling in next? Because I get to have it all. And so with this relationship, Kurt was like 99% of what I wanted. So now I'm like, well, what's 120%? Like, I'm just gonna shoot so big for the stars as far as what I'm calling in next. And hopefully, like if a woman does that process, it will help her shift and get much more into that space of Alright, release. Letting Go eye on the prize, let's focus on what you're calling in next. Oh, I love that. My mom always told me that she always said you are the prize and I I loved it. It's great. exam. Okay, that's so good. Okay, so speaking of calling in, what's next? Yeah, how do how does someone begin to do that to call in that relationship at that level that they really desire? Hmm. So big question. And it is a big question. It's a great question. And it's, it's why I work with my clients for six months, because it's not just like, snap your fingers, and it happens. But the bigger thing to remember is, you're always going to attract in what you're a vibrational match for, and your thoughts and your belief systems carry vibration. And so if you want a certain caliber of relationship, you need to become that woman. And I think about the six month transformation my clients go through, and in the beginning of our program, they're like, Where's all the good guys? I want a guy who's communicative and open and loving and mature and evolved. And I'm like, Alright, sweetheart, look in the mirror. Are you that high caliber woman? And usually, no, you're petty, or you're sleeping around or you have issues communicating your fears and insecurities. You can't say yes, you can't say no, like, you're attracting and men that are meeting you where you're at. And that is just the god honest truth. And so if you are truly ready to call in that next level relationship, then you need to take a good hard look at yourself and move through your own bullshit clear your past, clear those fears, those insecurities, those limiting beliefs. And as Whoo, as it sounds, you need to become love, you need to become the woman who loves herself, who's in love with her life, who really doesn't have those blocks around her own self value and self worth, that He exists. I did a formula for I call it my formula for love, I did a workshop a couple months ago. And parts of the equation, the first part is the belief in yourself. So what's the self love work that you need to do in order to believe in yourself that you can have what you want. But then the next step is external, you have to believe that he actually exists. And that's where a lot of women get caught up. They're like, I'm, I can't imagine that this type of man actually exists. So it's the internal than it's the external. And then the third part of the formula is massive, inspired action. You can't just sit at home and take bubble baths and visualize your perfect guy. You do need to take inspired action and go out into the world whether you're inspired to do online dating or you're inspired to be set up on a date like, I've seen my women, my clients manifest men in so many different ways. But the key common denominator is they've done the internal work to believe in themselves to believe that a man of that caliber exist but then they're going out there and taking action that's is filling their life. With joy and love and abundance and love, because then law of attraction gives you more of that. And then the guy shows up. So, so good. I love that you mentioned like, you have to embody that. That version of you. This was something my first life coach ever a few years ago, I worked on with her and I was, at the time, I'm still dating my now fiance. So at the time, he was my boyfriend. And, you know, she, our first or one of our first few sessions, she, like, made me write down a list of the 100 qualities I wanted in my partner. And I was like, but I already have like, a boyfriend who I love, like, why do I need to do this? And she was like, because that just because you have them doesn't mean your relationship can't grow into these things. So anyways, and then we, you know, really looked at the things, the five things that were like the most important to me, and I think there was a green president committed, and a few other things. And she was like, okay, Madison, like, now, here's your work, you embody these things, this is your job, because it was, you know, I'm like, Oh, well, he's not doing the dishes, and this and this, and this. And she's like, Well, you know, are you? How are you showing up? Right? And how are you embodying these qualities that you want him to step into? And, you know, the more I focused on stepping into those qualities myself, it created so much shift in him and in the entity of our relationship as well. So yeah, it's really, really cool to kind of hear that from you is like the expert, and having seen it worked in my life as well. So what are some of those big limiting beliefs that you kind of like see, or like a common thread with your clients? Or maybe even some of the ones that used to hold you back? Yeah. So I would say though, the biggest one, like the most common denominator that I hear from every single client is some version of, there's no good men in my town. So whether she is living, I have a client right now in the rural hills of France, or in New York City, or LA, like no matter where in the world, there is usually some type of block around, he doesn't exist, right. So that second part of the love formula. And so that's a big thing we need to work through. And then the secondary one is there's always this internal, I'm not good enough. I'm not valuable. I'm not lovable. And unfortunately, this tends to stem from childhood. It's called conditions of worth. And it's when your parents say things like, Be a good girl and pick up your room like it's this conditional aspect of you need to do something in order to prove your worth. Yes, rather than you're worthy, just because only because yeah. And so 99% of my work is an internal shift of really helping a woman believe that she's valuable and move through those old programs. And so I've got different subconscious programming reprogramming work that will do hypnosis that will do, of just getting in there changing that old story, ultimately, proverbially pulling those weeds out, and then planting what you want to believe. And when you go through this process, and hold someone accountable over the months, that's where the magic happens. But it's not necessarily an overnight transformation, because you've spent 30 4050 years becoming who you are. One of my favorite authors and mentors, Joe dispenza, has a book called breaking the habit of being yourself. And that's what we're doing. We're breaking the habit of being your old self, which is there's no good men in my town, or I'm not good enough, I need to prove my worth, like what can I do to win a guy over and then put my nails in them and trick him into staying with me? Right. So unfortunately, we as women, and men have it too, but I usually just work with women. Society has told us that we're not good enough, unless we look a certain way, act a certain way, dress a certain way our hair, our teeth, our skin. From a very early age, we have been hypnotized and brainwashed into believing that we're simply not enough as we are. So my work to come in is to show a woman like you are enough as you are, you're beautiful, you're unique. The world needs you for you. And the sooner that you can show your unique light. And for me, I jokingly refer to myself, I'm like, I let my freak flag fly like, I'll go fuck this way. I'm and that's when things really shifted. For me. I started attracting in great men, but I had to realize this is who I am, buddy, take it or leave it. And that's a journey to get to that level of confidence. Like it's a journey to love yourself. flaws and all, but that's a really big part of the process. Yeah, for sure. And I love that you brought up Joe dispenza I think I've mentioned him on like at least 50% of my podcast episodes because yeah, his works just so powerful. And I also wanted to touch on the fact that in the beginning you said your dad was a hypnotherapist which I think is true. Cool, I recently got certified and have been, I'm actually on day seven of a 20 day commitment of hypnotizing myself. And it's like, I've already seen such like amazing, amazing shifts. And like, it changed my life A few years ago, I like was sleeping like two hours a night and then started using hypnosis. And since then, like, I've slept like great eight hours a night. So it's amazing. So I'm really, that's really cool that you're you kind of like, yes, saw your dad doing that. I think that's like, so cool. My parents are so not like, into this stuff. However, they're, they're coming around. But yeah, really, really cool. And really awesome that you do it as well. I did want to ask you. So someone recently sent me this question, and I was gonna record it on this q&a podcast I'm doing but I think I would rather have the conversation with you, because you're so I'm well versed in the relationship of realm. So what she said was basically that she is, you know, manifesting a partner, and she'll manifest like one of the qualities, but then there'll be a bunch of other red flags. And she keeps hearing that, you know, to be specific, and on, I'm like, reading what she said. So I can like, give you the gist of it. Yeah. So she asked for specific things like looks, the car, they drive, their career, their personality, their attachment, style, etc. And she keeps running into two men after men after men that have a few things, a few of those things, but then there's like all these other red flags, and she feels like she's just not manifesting, right, like she's missing something. And she's been trying to listen to everyone and get her mind and soul open to the universe. So I would love to hear your thoughts on this. My initial thought is like, what stood out to me was the eye. It's like, I'm not manifesting, right, like I'm missing something. And I think that's something that we're also brainwashed and hypnotized to believe that, like, we don't have the answers, we're missing something. We're not getting it right. But it's like, what might shift if you did believe you know what you're doing? If you did believe you were getting right, if you did that simple if there was something missing. So that's kind of jumped out to me first, but I would love to hear if you have any thoughts or advice for her anyone else in this situation? Yeah. So I mean, the first thing is, I do want to piggyback on what you said, which is, what if it was working out? What if each man you attracted in was just helping her have more clarity of like, okay, I want this, but not that I want this, I want that, while the universe showed me I could have that and that and that, like, that's a completely different mindset, then it's not working and what am I doing wrong? Right. So I agree with you. I think that's a great thing to mention. The second thing I want to say, and I've had this similar question come up a lot with clients is, sometimes women are focusing on the wrong things. And so I have to say, I mean, I have a big process I do with my clients. But one of the modules one of the weeks is, I have them create their Prince Charming list, but they break it up into non negotiables. heart's desire is an icing on the cake. Because a lot of women are focusing on the wrong things like okay, well, he has to be wealthy, he has to be attractive, he has to live in this part of New York, he has to have a great relationship with his mother. And so those are really what are going to be the tenants of a long term happy relationship, because he could have all of those things. But if you don't feel a certain way, when you're with him, then it really doesn't matter. Or they're focusing on just the icing on the cake, which might be like rich and a great part of town, travels the world, blah, blah, blah. But if they're not meeting the non negotiables of he wants to get married, he wants to have kids, he's a kind and generous person, then once again, what's it matter? So I think having the list is important, and understanding what category everything is in. But I just view this more from like a dating and screening point of view of why it's important, like you have to be clear in what you want. And once again, like at what level it matters to you, is this a need or a desire. And I had to learn that a couple partners ago because for me travel is it's a need for me. But it's not a non negotiable with my partner, like I can travel on my own, I can travel with my partner, but with my ex, we traveled together and I realized it's so much more beautiful with a partner like I desire it with my partner, but it's not a non negotiable, like he doesn't have to be the photographer for Nat Geo traveling 90% of the time. And so I would say look at your list, break it into what's truly a non negotiable that you wouldn't go to on a second date with this guy. What are your heart's desires things you want to share in common with a friend right like 80% what would be happy to have this life together and then the icing on the cake are truly icing on the cake like that's where you ask for tall, dark, handsome multimillionaire on a private jet or whatever those superficial things. Ask for him. I've had colleagues get those things like ask Who knows? But once again like I alluded To before, how are you going to feel when you're with him. And that's the power. And so you make a list of your core desired feelings in partnership, I want to feel understood, I want to feel respected, I want to feel adored, I want to feel loved. And then how you activate the magic of the universe of law of attraction manifestation is you need to go out and embody those feelings. What can you do today to feel loved, saved, secure, cherish, because Prince Charming will come along. And let's say he's a little bit older than you thought or a little bit chubbier than you thought, or a little bit shorter or less rich. But if you just feel like a million bucks, and you can't stop laughing, is your best friend and you talk to all hours of the night. That's what you want in partnership, you don't want anything in life except for how you think you're going to feel when you get it. And so this is the secondary clarification that I think a lot of women are missing when it comes to manifesting is okay, she's attracting and all these men that are showing her different qualities on her list. But I want her to dig into the feeling aspect of how she wants to feel when she wakes up with him how she wants to feel when she goes to bed with him, how she wants to feel when she's at work. And he's texting her little sweet love notes, how she wants to feel on her birthday. And then the needy woman says you need to do this. So I can feel that way. The woman who gets her needs met, understands how she needs to feel and goes out into the world and meets those needs herself. And then she attracts in a man that's going to reflect that back to her and help her also meet those needs and feel a certain way. Oh my gosh, I could literally listen to you forever. So, so much wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing, I think that will be so so helpful for Yeah, the person who asked that question. And for anyone else in that situation. So yeah, continuing on with the relationship stuff. So for someone who feels like they have manifested their soulmate, they feel like they found that person that really meets them on that level they want to be like, what would you say to them is like, most helpful in terms of like maintaining a healthy relationship, not letting it plateau or get stagnant really, like, you know, keeping it exciting, evolving, growing, and constantly getting better and better and better. That's something with my fiance that like we are so grateful for with each other. It's like, you know, I, you know, hear from a lot of people, it's like, they feel like their relationship just gets like worse, worse, worse, worse, worse, and like we really feel like ours gets just gets better. And I think it's because we're both so committed to the growth. And so I would just love to hear from you any thoughts you have on like, yeah, just maintaining a healthy loving relationship, once you have found someone who you think that could be with? Well, and that's the precursor that I would suggest to anyone, any woman or man on the personal growth journey is, for me a non negotiable is that my partner has a spiritual practice. And he's dedicated to self improvement. Because I've had partners in the past that weren't and that didn't work out. Like that's a non negotiable for me. And so one of the things if you want to ensure that you maintain a healthy, happy, loving relationship, and you are growth oriented, then you have to make sure that that's also a non negotiable to your partner. And like you were saying, with your fiance, you both have that mindset. And so there's no doubt in my mind that the two of you will continue to experience what you're experiencing, because you're committed to that growth. Now, that being said, communication is such a key part of any type of half happy, healthy relationship. And so continuously working on those communication skills, and whether that means books or courses, or whatever that is for you. It means you're always in constant communication around are your needs being met, is there anything I can do for you, hey, it triggered me when you did this. It's like, you're never allowing things to get big. You're just always in this constant communication, and you're always checking in. And then furthermore, when I think about things that were really successful, that I loved about my relationship with Kurt is, we had a commitment of every day, we choose to see each other new, we're not going to bring the past and we're not going to bring the baggage and we're not going to judge you based on the past. And He even told me from day one, he's like Emerald, I'm gonna let you define what a woman is to me. I'm not going to define who you are based on my exes in the past. And that takes constant commitment to yourself and your partner of every day is new, but every day I release you right? Like I'm not gonna hold on to you tomorrow from today. And so, the way I look at it is if you're constantly, like trying new things together and reading books, I Kurt and I, we were studying Tantra, we had a Tantra coach, and I already thought both of us were amazing lovers. And yet, I learned so much about my body, about his body about breath, work, and so on. I would say if two people are just, they're super psyched about growth and they're in constant communication and you're self aware and checking in with your needs, that you're going to have a really wonderful relationship that's never going to plateau, it's never going to be stale, because that's just not who you are. So that would be my just overriding umbrella of advice of just how to ensure being in a healthy, happy, growth oriented relationship. Yeah, I love that so much. And I really like what you said about seeing each other new every day. That's something I'm really I'm setting the intention now to bring that into my own relationship, because I think there's so much power in that, like, we hold on to so much. Shit, it's like, a month ago, you did this? And it's like, is that helping anyone? No, you know, so I think that's so. so powerful. So for? I've hear this a lot. And not, you know, not necessarily relationships, but just in terms of, you know, like, Well, yes, it actually is in terms of relationships. I don't know what I'm trying to say. But anyways, what if one person is, like, you know, really on a spiritual personal development growth journey, and the other person just isn't? Like, how do you navigate that? How do you know if you stick it out? Maybe they'll come with you? Or do you just accept that they're not like, what, what are your thoughts on that? Well, I was in that relationship, not with my ex, but with the man before him. And so when Ron and I met, my spirituality wasn't as important to me at that time, like I was running a cafe, I was just like, strike trying to stay afloat. I wasn't traveling, I wasn't reading, I was just working at 100 hours a week. And so fast forward a couple of years started my love coaching business, getting much more into my personal development journey, working through my limiting beliefs, like it would always been a part of who I was. But like I said, at that point in my life, I wasn't really nurturing that side of me, I was just like, trying to run the business, my business partner and not go into even more debt. And so eventually, we came to that point in our relationship where it really was challenging to navigate. And so we were trying to work on it like we were going to therapy. I was bringing different books or podcasts into the relationship and really like doing everything I knew how to do to connect and say, This is what I believe we need to go to the next level. So we tried, we tried for years. And eventually it did come to the point where this is no longer in alignment, like I'm over here, you're over there. We want different things square peg round hole. Now, the decision to get to that point to separate it, in a way it kind of felt drugged out. And at the same time, it couldn't have happened a moment sooner, like it would just it happened when it happened. I needed to do everything I could because my history in the past was as soon as it wasn't working. I was out of there. And so I also needed to prove to myself that I wasn't just going to throw a relationship away. Now, mind you, I think a lot of women stay stuck for too long, like he'll change, they'll change they'll change when if he's not showing you that he's going to change that he's probably not going to. And so there really isn't a black and white answer of do you stay Do you go except for when I'm with women, working with women that are in a similar situation that I was in? It's helping her get in touch with her truth, her intuition, like are you done here? Are you not and I can even share with you. I have a client right now. She's with a man. And she even says like Emerald. He's a six and a half out of 10. As far as everything I need and desire in partnership. She's like, but I'm not ready to go, I'm enjoying being with him. He's still the best man I've ever been with. And I just need some help to build up my own self love and courage. And along the way, the relationship might transform as she is evolving and growing and speaking her truth and working on the things that she needs to work on. Because once again, relationships are stepping stones. So she's going to learn some things in this partnership with him that will either prepare her for the next level, or she'll go with him to the next level. And so there once again is not a black and white answer. But what I think is most important is giving a woman these tools to connect in with herself. Her higher self, her intuition, her truth so that if it comes to a point where the relationship is no longer serving her, she knows she's like I've done everything I Can I have the clear, honest answer that we're done here. Because if a woman is just up here in her head and her ego asking her friends asking her therapist, she'll never have that answer that's right for her. And so that's why I say like Ron and I did struggle for a while but it's just Didn't happen a moment before it was meant to happen. Like it just had to play out how it did. Now, mind you, if he was emotionally abusive or verbally abusive, that's a completely different situation of which case, I will give my advice and say, What the fuck are you doing. But at the same time, you can't control someone else's journey. Sometimes they just need to be beaten physically or emotionally before they finally realize like that proverbial rock bottom of the only way out, is up. And so I've had those clients as well, that had been in abusive narcissistic relationships, but they needed it, they needed it for their evolution in their journey and their growth. And so we can't ever judge a relationship is bad, or good. It's your perception of it. And so my role, my goals is, I want to help a woman find her truth. So if she decides it's time to go, she can go. But at the same time, I have had clients who are like, he's Jewish, and she's Catholic, and it works because they're accepting and they're not trying to change each other. And so, you know, there's no rules anymore, except for Is this what you truly want? Is this relationship serving you? Do you feel good in it? Are your values aligned? And if the answer is no, then you need to ask yourself, Well, why are you sticking around? What fears are you allowing to win right now? so so good? Yeah, I think that's really powerful like that. You said, like, there's no rules, you have to get in touch with your own truth. And, you know, it's like, it's sometimes hard to see that, right? Because you're letting those fears get in the way you're like, well, what if I'll be alone and never find anyone else? What if this as good as it gets, you know, and I think it's really powerful to be like, what is the actual truth? What is my actual truth in this situation? So I love that. So I think what comes up with, you know, manifesting in the law of attraction, I feel like they're like such buzzwords. Now, but I mean, I still love them. But a lot of my students and clients, whether it's with, you know, calling in their relationship, their dream, career, whatever it is, like a lot of us and me included, like, I still struggle with this, sometimes that sense of like, well, when is it going to happen? And how is it going to happen? And like that, you know, kind of, like, clean energy of like, when and how so for someone who is like, caught up in that, like, what would you say to them to help them trust and surrender to the process and know that it is all working out? Well, and that's where that's a journey, like I didn't one day just wake up as a woman with a bunch of trust and faith in the universe. I am a woman who has worked on my faith muscle over the years over the decades to be this woman today that could honestly leave a relationship that was the best I'd ever had 99%, like, like, I just kind of even blows my mind, like, look what I manifested. And yet I have such faith and belief in myself and the universe of I get to have it all. And if this is not 100%, that I need to make space for that. And so that type of faith and belief system is not something that's handed to you overnight. This is something that you build and grow throughout the years. And so, for me, a big part of that has been my meditation practice, and prayer. So meditation is helping to control your own mind, right. And so the mind is a muscle like anything else. And I believe strongly in having a consistent meditation practice to have control of your mind control of your thoughts. But that it also puts you in receiving mode, where you can get beautiful ideas and inspiration. Prayer is starting that two way conversation with source with God with the universe. And so how much effort are you putting into having a connection with source having a connection to your higher self listening to your intuition, you have to decide that that's important to you. And you make that a relationship. And over time, you will eventually believe that it's all working, and you get to have it all. And then you can trick your brain and you can look for all the times in the past that has been working out in your favor. You can make lists. The letters to God exercise is something that my clients love tremendously, which is you write a letter to God, like asking questions, help advice on a certain topic, and then you say, Please answer through the ink in my pen, then you close your eyes, clear your mind. And you start writing the reply. And the reply is always just profound and deep and spot on. And so this is you deciding I want to trust the universe. It's like saying, I want to lose weight this year. All right, well, it's gonna be hard and in the very beginning, it will be awkward and painful and you won't be feeling or looking like you're making any progress, but eventually you will. The same thing with trusting the universe. You just gonna have to start working at it and then over time Time eventually, you'll have that belief that yeah, this is working out for me. Yeah, I love that. And I love the letter to God thing, I do something similar where I like, ask my guides does the universe like, you know, show me what I need to know about this, or I'll ask for specific guidance on something and like, close my eyes and breathe and then just like, see what comes out on the paper. And it really is profound. And it's, you'll surprise yourself. You know, I think it can sound weird, like, you know, but it you'll surprise yourself by how like, if you just like, let go and like, let your hand and pen move the magic and inspiration and trust that comes through. So I love that so much. Okay, where do we want to go next, before we shift away from relationships, I want to just like, open it up to see if there was like any anything else with relationships that's like, on your heart to share anything you feel like we missed that you wanted to talk about. I mean, I really think we dug into some wonderful topics. And for me, like with the manifested all, brand and podcast, what I have really learned in these last two relationships, and this is what I'm really preaching is, you get to have it all. Or you get to decide how much less than at all you get to have. So if you have your bar set up here of what you truly desire, but you're settling for anything less. I mean, that's fine, you get to choose, you get to settle, or you get to decide I want more. But when you decide that you want more, and you make space, that's when the universe can say, Oh, well, here you go, you have space. But if you're still holding on in a relationship out of fear, you'll never have what you truly desire. And so I just want to remind everyone listening, you get to have it all. Or you decide how much less than at all you get to have. Oh my gosh, I love that so much. And I think that leads us perfectly into what I wanted to go into next was your manifesting process that I like was, you know, seeing you talk about on your website and stuff, I would love to hear more about that. Because I think such a huge part of manifesting and creating the life we want creating the relationship career, whatever it is that we want, calling in the money that we want, I think so much of it is is the decision, like I've had so many times where I'm like, I do this and this and this and this and try to get what I want. And then like, it's soon as I flip the switch and really decide I get to have this, I believe I can have this. It's like boom, that it shifts and it comes in. So I would I would love to hear your process and thoughts on all of that. Yeah, well, you hit the nail on the head like that is the first part of the manifesting process, which is clarity. Like you have to know what it is that you want have that singular focus. It can't be well, I want this, but I kind of want that. But maybe I want this. And I can share a similar story. Like when I hired my business coach earlier in the year, I had enough to pay her for the first month. And so I made a decision. This is going to work for me, I'm going to be the woman that she is sharing those massive testimonials about period. And by the end of three weeks, I already made my investment back. And I had another client recently she reached out to Emerald, I want to work with you. Can you save me a spot for next month? I was like, No, I won't. But you can put down $1,000 deposit to save your spot. And she's like, I don't have the money. I don't even have the money to pay for coaching. She's like, but I'll figure it out. Not only did she emailed me 72 hours saying she had $1,000. But she emailed me saying I have the entire money for the coaching package send me the link the power of making a decision. She didn't know how it was going to happen. But she's like, I want this coaching program, I need to figure it out. And then within 72 hours it showed up, so it wasn't like I want it but I don't have the money it was I want it this is happening. And that's what activates the magic of the universe. Like you can't wait till all of your ducks in a row all of your ducks will never be in a row, you have to fucking decide, this is what I want. This is happening. And so that's the first part. And then the other steps revolve Of course, like believing you can have it and removing those blocks and all of that fun work that we do. And then it finishes up with you have to let go and trust and believe and so those steps in the process are generally what we need to work on in our private coaching program. Because this level of belief in self and trust in the universe is not what we were given. But these are skill sets that we can work on and develop. Yeah, I really liked that you you know talk about it. Like it's something that you can work on develop and everything's like a muscle. It's like, we don't have to go from zero to 100. You know, I used to really identify as a perfectionist and it was like, you know, the do it right or don't do it at all mentality or you know, trying to go from like zero to 100. It's like, what if it's good enough to go from zero to one, and then when you're at one, you can figure out where to go from there, you know, and that's the thing I want to remind you, the majority People, I'm not even going to say everyone. We don't go from zero to 100, it's baby steps change happens slowly, overnight step by step by step. And so you might have a dream of a million dollar business, but it's gonna take you a while to get there, you have to take your baby steps along the way do you have to expand your belief muscle. And so, like I have money manifesting course I talked about, if you make 60 grand a year, don't set your goal at making a million shoot for 80 shoot for 100. Like just something that's believable, but a stretch. And so that's like, when I think about my relationship history, Every man has always met me where I'm at. But every year, I'm stretching my believability muscle around what I can ask for and what I can receive in partnership, it's the same thing in my business, it's the same thing in my finances. Every year, I'm just expanding a little bit more outside of my comfort zone, but that when it shows up, it's like, holy shit, I just got that. So Alright, this is scary. But let's expand a little bit more and ask for a little bit more and see how that goes. And, you know, it's why I usually am enrolled in a coaching program, I have a private coach, I'm reading the books, because I don't want to stay stagnant. I want to continue to have be and experience more. Yes, same same here. And it kind of like goes back to what you're talking about earlier, where it's like, you know, the experiences you're in are expanding you to be the container for that business. It's like, you know, for me, if I all of a sudden had a business, I was making a million dollars tomorrow, like, I am not a container for that I'm not ready to hold it, I'm not ready to receive it. I don't have the team to manage it. I don't have the financial skills to manage it. I wouldn't know what the hell to do. Like this is wow, like, what the heck, and then it would I would probably like sabotage it and it would be like a mess, you know. And so it's like, it's a good thing that I'm not at that level yet. Because I have the now I have the opportunity to expand myself into to be a symbol to be the container for that level of experience where I can not just receive it, but then be able to hold it and be like this is this is who I am. This is normal for me. Like if that happened, I'd be like, identity. Yes, you know, and that's why we have to get ready for the thing. And so so many women going back to the relationship concept, think like, I'm ready for Mr. Right, Mr. Perfect. And like, are you though, like if he showed up? And I'll ask this question, usually to people on our console call like, are you really ready? And they're like, No, I'm not ready. so terrified of love or terrified of sex are terrified of being heard. And like, exactly, you're not actually ready. So let's get you ready to be ready. Oh, I love this so much. Okay, I think this is a beautiful note to end on. Is there anything else that you want to share anything else that's coming up. So what's coming up for me is just a reminder that we, especially as women, but collectively on the planet, we need to get out of our heads out of our egos and into our hearts into our bodies. And anytime you are maybe like freaking out or worried or whatever it is. Just bring it down into your heart. Close your eyes, feel into your own love, ask your heart, what the truth is not your brain, right like lead from that heart centered space. That's going to open up so many miracles for you. Whether it's relationships, money career, if you're leading from your heart, and I realize that's not the world we've grown up in. But if everyone was leading from a heart centered love space, our world would be an entirely different place. And so that would just be my final request. And suggestion is like just bring it down into your heart. Amazing. And I could really tell that came through from your heart. So thank you for that. And thank you for being here. This was amazing. Can you tell us where we can find out more about you and your offerings and all that good stuff? Yeah, so the number one is Instagram, I frickin love Instagram. I'm on my stories every day. And so Instagram manifest with Emerald is where I'm at. And then on my website I have different freebies and videos and courses and programs. And then of course on the manifested all podcast, which new episode drops weekly, you're gonna be on there which I'm really excited to bring you on. And then I even have a Facebook group about attracting and keeping a conscious relationship so you can easily find me anywhere on the interwebs Yay. Well thank you so much. This was amazing. For those of you listening if you guys enjoyed this episode, please screenshot and tag us both on Instagram. We would love to hear from you. I loved this episode so much. I feel like I could just like listen to this stuff forever because I haven't had someone on the podcast yet. really dive into Relationship stuff. So I thought it was so amazing. So thank you so much. And yeah, thank you all for listening and I will see you next week. Thank you This was amazing. I'm so grateful for you listening today if this resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you'd hit subscribe and leave a review on iTunes and everybody is invited to the after party, which takes place every day on Instagram and magnetically you so come hang out with us there. And if you're really fired up about mindset, spiritual and personal development, head to magnetically your comm to check out all the fun stuff I have going on there like my coaching, and my courses, free workshops, all that good stuff, and I will see you on the next episode.