reacting to vs. leading your life

Are you letting your circumstances lead you instead of YOU leading your circumstances? Are you afraid of what will happen if you allow yourself to want and have everything you desire?

In every moment, you have the opportunity to either recreate the past or LEAD the future.

When you lead, the universe and your life will respond. You get to want what you want and you get to have it - and becoming the LEADER of your life is how you do that.

In this episode you'll learn:

     ✧ How to stop letting your circumstances dictate your life

     ✧ How to stop putting conditions on your desires

     ✧ What shifted for me when I stopped waiting for xyz to happen before I allowed myself to have what I wanted

     ✧ Why reacting to your past/current circumstances just perpetuates them

     ✧ How to become the leader of your life and energy so that the universe responds to YOU

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Full Episode Transcript:

 Welcome to the magnetically youth podcast. My name is Madison Surdyke. I'm a master mindset coach and food freedom expert, you're in the right place. If you want to manifest a life It means you jump out of bed excited if every morning, reprogram your mind for success and happiness, feeling your best and become magnetic to everything that you desire. For me healing my relationship with food was my gateway into mindset, spiritual and personal development. And now I am obsessed. And I realized the same thing became true for so many of the women. I've coached through my course the subtle art of food freedom, and doing the inner work around food became about so much more than food for all of us. So that's what this podcast is really about that expansion, expanding that inner work to all areas of our life so that we can become the most magnetic confident versions of ourselves and achieve our biggest dreams. If you're like me, and you're obsessed with personal development, then you are going to love this podcast. So let's freakin do this. Hi. So I have a really, really, really, really, really, really powerful concept to share with you guys today. And making this shift from being the reacting to my life to becoming the leader of my life has shifted so much for me so quickly like this is this is the only thing that you really implemented and clicked into your life. Things shift very, very quickly for you like I am feel like I am collapsing time. And things are just happening like faster than they quote should better than they should easier than they should. Because I'm leading my life now no longer reacting to it. So I want to let you guys in on this concept that has really changed my life the last few months and significantly up leveled all areas of my life, especially in my business. So we've been trained to believe that our desires are bad. Like I remember going to the grocery store with my parents when I was little. And every time we were at the checkout line, I wanted Reese cups. I wanted a fastbreak. Did anyone else see fastbreak growing up? That was like my favorite candy. Now I'm kind of like, I don't know about that, like nougat or whatever it's called in metal. Anyways, I always fucking wanted a Reese's cup. And I would beg my parents, please, please, please, Can I have it? Can I have it? Can you buy me Reese's cup? And it was always No, no, no, no, no. And they would get really mad probably because I was annoying as fuck asking you that was in times, but I wanted it. I was like, I didn't understand why I couldn't have what I wanted. And then it's funny around for Christmas or birthdays, things like that my parents would always get me like a thing of like 12, Reese's or whatever. And I would literally eat them all in one sitting. And I was like thinking about this today. I'm like, that makes so much sense. It's like there was like desire scarcity, who maybe that's what I should have called this live. It's like there's this like the desire scarcity, like we're not allowed to want what we want. We're not allowed to like have it. So because I felt like allowing myself receiving my desires was like a scarce opportunity. When I did get all the race cups I wanted to like eat them all because I may not get another one of my desires again soon right like this, how a lot of us are living our lives and things are a lot more important than Reese's cups. So it's 111. So I'm gonna take this as a good sign, right? We think if I allow myself to have all my desires, I'll run out of money. They're gonna think I'm greedy. I'll make other people uncomfortable. I'll out shine people. People will tell me I'm too much. I'm greedy, nice, then people will say I should give more of it away. Or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Like we have all these thoughts about what would happen if we were to allow ourselves to fulfill all of our desires. So then we start talking ourselves out of it. We're like, oh, like maybe I don't need that. That's what I did this morning. I was like, on Instagram scrolling and I love how the ads are. I don't know about you, but the ads for me are spot on. I love all of them. So I get this ad for this beautiful like lingerie like set that I I never really buy lingerie. It's just not something I have. And I keep seeing it on these ads. And I'm like, that's beautiful. I would like that, right? Like my desire is telling me like yes, you want that. And then I go on their website and I like put put stuff in The car and then I'm like, No, like, I don't I don't really need this. And it's like, Wait, what? Like, that's what we do. That's what we do with like everything in our life, like, what kind of life are we living if we're constantly, like shutting down and shelfing our desires, like, Oh, I can't have that now, oh, I don't need that, or, oh, I'll have that someday, like, Fuck that. That is not the way I'm living. And I know that's not the way you want to live, either. I know, you want to be the leader of your life, the creator of your life, you want to why would you want and you get to have it. So your desires are worthy, stop letting your circumstances lead you. You lead your circumstances, right, like so often we look at our bank account, and then our bank account determines how we live our life. We look at, I'm trying to think of another example. We just look at certain scenarios in our life. And then we respond to and react to our past and current circumstances. And when we when we respond to and react to our past and current circumstances. Guess what we create our past and current circumstances over and over and over and over again, this is why it feels a lot of people feel stuck. And plateau. And this kind of shifts because we're responding and reacting to the past in the current rather than leading the energy, right? Like, it's like, of course, if this is your life, this is your reality. And you keep responding to it and matching its energy. Of course, that's what you're going to create, right? Like we have to create a new energy, we have to be the leaders of our life, if we want to change our life we've deleted and a new direction if we're constantly responding to old shit we're just getting keep recreating the old shit. So a couple examples of how this has come up recently for me is I noticed myself that I wanted to sign up for this inner voice facilitator training. It's an amazing tool that my coach has been taking me through and that now I'm going to get to take my clients through which I'm so so excited. And I did end up signing up for a while, I was not signing up because I was waiting for my tax refund to hit my bank account. I was letting my bank account Tell me what I could do or not do. I was letting the IRS and my tax refund and their timing, tell me what I could or couldn't do with my life? And it's like, No, no, I am the leader. I am the creator of my life. And so I noticed that I was doing that I noticed that I was waiting in this pending energy. This is something that Taylor Lee her Instagram handle is at the Taylor Lee, she kind of calls this pending energy, you're pending, you're waiting, you're waiting for something to happen for you to respond to I was waiting for this tax refund to hit my bank account before I allowed myself to have my desire, right. Like I was in this pending energy. One of my clients current clients has someone who said they're going to work with her she sent them the payment link. It's been a couple days, they haven't paid yet. And she's like, are they going to pay? I don't know should I follow up with them? Right? Like these are normal fears that everyone who has a business has been through and she's in that pin in pending energy waiting on her client to pay before she allows herself to, to feel secure or to do whatever she needs to do or wants to do in her life. Right? Your pending your desires are contingent on your circumstances your desires are contingent on XYZ. Why are we putting all of these conditions on our desires? Why are we dimming our desires? Why can't we let ourselves want more we fucking want just because we want it right. That's the kind of life I want to live. So one other example that came up in the last few weeks is I was DM-ing with someone and said something and they hadn't responded yet and it was like I forget what it was but it was like I was waiting on their responses pending energy like waiting on their response to then react or then be able to feel whatever I want him to feel no No, no, no, no, no. Forget all these conditions. Forget all these things that we think that you think needs to happen before you can have what you want. What if you can have it now? What if you can have it now. So this pending energy creates more pending shit in your life. So if you're in this if you're in this reacting to, you're waiting for something to respond to you're in this waiting pending energy, look around at your life and just notice what else in your life has now responded to you the universe you lead and then the universe responds to you but when you're reacting, it just perpetuates more pending energy. So how this was showing up for me last month before I realized this pattern and really like let go of this reacting and stepped into leading is our dishwasher had been broken for three months. And we for I don't know why we could not get someone in our apartment to fix it, then our icemaker broke. Again, it had been like 12 days, our maintenance, you've never taken 12 days to fix something. The dishwasher was three months. And I was like, oh, oh, I created this. I lead my energy was saying were pending, were waiting. So then my life was saying we're pending, we're waiting. If you lead you lead, you get to lead. So what are you leading with? Do you want to lead with pending and waiting? Or do you want to lead with your desire with what you're creating? So as soon as I realized that I was in this like waiting, pending energy, realized it and then decided it's just a decision. I'm done. I'm done with this reacting energy I've done with this waiting energy I'm done with this pending, I'm done with all these conditions that I have to wait for in order to have what I want. Fuck that shit. You've just decided that you're done with that. And as soon as I really started shifting these things, it's like, things just positively snowballed. My, my life started reacting to my new energy to my leading I lead and then my life followed, I lead and then my clients followed I lead and then my bank account followed, right? So so many more consulates are coming and people interested in working with me more DMS from people interested in working with me, more clients, clients actually paying me rightly say they're going to do it. And then they actually are paying me right because I'm not in this spending energy I'm not creating and attracting pending energy. I made five I posted one time about this program I have with energy healing rituals, I posted one time and made five sales from that just one post, right. And the dishwasher got fixed. I use mega graphics, I'm sure there's so many other examples that I'm not thinking of. But it's like, as soon as I got myself out of this waiting impending energy and decided, no, I fucking want this inner voice facilitator training. This is my desire, I'm allowed to have it, I'm allowed to have it now. And I choose to have an out I don't have to wait on this tax payment. Right. And so as soon as I really started making that shift from reacting to leading, then I started creating a new reality, because you're no longer we're just repeating the same old shit. So your current reality is not who you are. And it's not who you're becoming who you were, it's who you were. So your point of power is in the present, you get to create from the now you get to lead from the now. And you get to create where you're going, right? Like we're not, we don't have to look at our life now and act and live based on that. We don't have to look at our past and act on that based on that we get to act and live from the place of this is what I'm creating, this is what I want, this is what I get to have. And that's when things really will start to shift. So to become the leader of your life to get out of this pending energy, like I was saying, It's simply just a decision, you just decide, right? And then you take action, you start taking action, if I wasn't waiting, if I was in pending, if I knew I was a leader in the creator of my life, what would I do you take action, not from a place of waiting, but from a place of leading from a place of your desires from a place of what am I creating? What do I want? Rather than what should I do? What what's possible? What can I have? What's going to make other people happy? No, no, no, no. No, you allow yourself to want what you want. You don't just allow yourself to want what you want. You allow yourself to want what you want now, and you allow yourself to have it you allow yourself to have it now. Now I'm not telling you go grab your credit card and buy everything you want. If that's what you received from this message, go back and re Listen, right? That's clearly not what I'm saying here. This is about becoming the leader, the creator of your life. So when you do this, when you decide that you're allowed to want what you want, you're allowed to have it and you believe you can have it. You believe you can have it now. Your environment, your reality, your life will start responding to you. You're the leader. Your life will respond rather than the life than circumstances being later and you're responding now that's backwards, you lead and your life will respond. So what have you been telling yourself? What is it what is something that you've been wanting, but you're telling yourself like, I don't need that or I can't have that or if I get that people will think I'm greedy or now's not the right time? Maybe some day like where have you noticed? This waiting impending energy, and your life and if you knew if you knew and your soul, and you'll know you'll know if this message speaks to you, if you know in your soul that you're the leader and you're the creator of your life and you want to decide where your life is going, then what would you do? If you knew you were the creator? What would you do? What would you choose to allow yourself to want now? What would you believe you're allowed to have now? What would you allow yourself to have now Your life is happening now. Your life is happening now. Just let that sink in. So decide lead lead from what lead now lead in the moment now, where you want to go, because if you're always waiting, you think you need this to happen before you're willing to lead while then you're always waiting for something that's out in the future to happen. If and when you're never in the future, you're always in analysis, if you're always waiting for something in the future, then the futures always like this, like moving. And it's like this, like, never can't never can get there kind of feeling. Hopefully, this is making sense. So this is what I go deep into with my private coaching clients. So if you're done being the reactor and the responder to your life, done recreating the same old shit, and you want to lead your life, you want to let your desires be your compass, you want to create a life that's literally a cela fucking bration I just made that word up a celebration every day, I feel like I should create a program called some fucking bridge. Anyways, if you want to, like have a life that you're excited about, if you want to want what you want, you want to have it, I want to help you get it. This is exactly what I do with my clients in my one on one coaching program, I help them become the leader of their life, I help them step into this power. And when you step into this, you are limitless. You can have anything you want, you can create anything you want, you can be anything you want. So if that's what you're ready for, you're ready to fucking lead, then send me a DM, send me a message. And we'll talk more about it. We can get you started. I'm so excited. So excited to work with you. You have no idea I'm ready for you. And I know that you're ready to. So that's all have a magical rest of your day. And I will see you soon. I'm so grateful for you listening today if this resonated with you it would mean the world to me if you'd hit subscribe and then leave a review on iTunes and everybody is invited to the after party which takes place every day on Instagram I medically you so come hang out with us there. And if you're really fired up about mindset, spiritual and personal development, head to magnetically your comm to check out all the fun stuff I have going on there like my coaching, and my courses, free workshops, all the good stuff and I will see you on the next episode.