How to Become the Person You’ve Always Wanted to Be - With Mikayla Jai

In today's episode, I have Mikayla Jai as our guest. She's a manifestation coach on a mission to help women manifest their rich and ridiculous (if this is your vibe Mikayla is your girl) lifestyles through mindset and connecting to their personal magic. We dive deep into how to become the person you want to be - something Mikayla is a badass example of!!

In this episode, you'll learn:

✧ Mikayla's journey on how she realized she wanted things differently
✧ Affirmations and how it works well
✧ How Mikayla knew who she wanted to be and how she took actions to be that person
✧ How Mikayla's decision of being who she wants to be made a big impact on her life
✧ How to shift out of low vibe and negative thoughts
✧ Reasons why people have tendencies to think that whenever they had a bad situation, it's already a bad day
✧ At the end of the episode, Mikayla shared her daily ritual

Guest Bio:

Mikayla Jai is the 22-year-old manifestation mastermind behind personal brand, Mikayla Jai. She is single-handedly changing the way millennials look at spirituality, inspiring other women to manifest their rich and ridiculous lifestyles through mindset and connecting to their personal magic. Mikayla has scaled her business to multiple 6-figures in under two years, while traveling the world, running a successful podcast and being a full-time college student.

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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the magnetically you podcast. My name is Madison Surdyke. I'm a master mindset coach and food freedom expert. You're in the right place. If you want to manifest a life It means you jump out of bed excited if every morning, reprogram your mind for success and happiness, do your best and become magnetic to everything you desire. For me personally, my relationship with food was my gateway into mindset, spiritual and personal development. And now I am obsessed. And then I realized the same thing became true for so many of the women. I've coached through my course the subtle art of food freedom, and doing the inner work around food became about so much more than food for all of us. So that's what this podcast is really about that expansion, expanding that inner work to all areas of our life so that we can become the most magnetic confident versions of ourselves and achieve our biggest dreams. If you're like me, and you're obsessed with personal development, then you are going to love this podcast so let's freakin do this.

Hi, everyone, welcome back to the magnetically you podcast. I have Mikayla Jai here and I'm super pumped to talk with her. I think we're totally on the same wavelength with so much about my inside manifestation and I'm a super pumped to talk with her. So Mikayla is the 22 year old manifestation mastermind behind the personal brand and Mikayla Jai. She's single handedly changing the way millennials look at spirituality, inspiring other women to manifest their rich and ridiculous lifestyle, their mindset and connecting to their personal magic, Mikayla has scaled her business to multiple six figures in under two years, while traveling the world running a successful podcast and being a full time college student. Okay, this is amazing. By the way I were 22 until I just like read your bio. I think that's so amazing. And I think that just by like being you and having done that you like busters so many people's beliefs about like, I feel like a lot of people think like, Oh, I'm too young to be a coach. And that's Yeah, I'm sure he would agree. Just total BS. But I would love to, for you to tell us more about your story and your journey from yet and a little bit about your background. And like what led you to doing what you're doing today with all the mindset and manifestation and spirituality work?

Yeah, well, thanks for having me on. I'm so excited to be here. And during my Bobby read, it's so funny every time from like belief that to me, is so cool. I'm the guy. I'm only 22, which is crazy. I started all of this work all the inner work when I was 19 years old. What really triggered it for me was I went on a study abroad trip. So I'm no longer in university, but I was and I was studying French and fashion and I decided to go on a study abroad trip to France in a little city called O'Shea for about a month and a half. And I also got one of my like rock bottom points in life and I've lived a lot of life and my young heroes like highschool is the worst experience for me something went wrong every single year and my parents had gotten divorced. My dad actually went to prison. And I was living alone at such a young age. So I was very like, victim mode. Victim mindset, why me negative i was a self proclaimed pessimist Believe it or not. It's absolutely crazy. But I was at a rock bottom point before my study abroad trip where I was living somewhere that was really gross. It was not high behind at all. And I would drive like 45 minutes to work every single day. It was like in the summer before I left for my trip and I would work almost 40 hours a week, I was taking online classes, I would wake up at 6am to go to the gym before work and I was just like, hustle mode, unhappy not seeing my friends not even living my you know, normal 19 year old life and it was awful. At one point, I was just like thinking about my study abroad trip and I was really looking forward to it because like, I need to get the fuck out of here. And I looked myself in the mirror and I was like, something has got to change and it has to start with me. I have no idea how I knew that. I had never studied any personal development and being so far along this journey. Now I'm like, you know, all the change starts with us. It starts inward. I don't know. It was just like the biggest download from the universe really my first that I actually listened to and I was like it has to start with me. So I made a pact basically with myself or set an intention for my trip that I was going to go on this study abroad trip being the girl that I always want it to be, I just go in there. It's like a group from my university going, but I knew none of them almost everybody had known somebody from a French class, but I knew nobody at all. So I was walking into this completely blindsided and I was like, well, these people don't know me. So that means I can actually be whoever the fuck I want to be. So I like I said, I made a pact with myself. I was doing it no gossiping, no complaining, no negative thoughts. No, like anything low vibe for the entire trip. That's the change I decided to make. I was like, no gossip, no negativity, nothing just like being a yes, girl, being the type of girl who like lights up the room, every room, she walks into just like the happy go lucky type girl that I always wanted to be. And that I knew was inside of me. I just didn't know how to bring her out. So I went on this trip for like six weeks. And that's exactly what I did. And it changed my life. Like when you do something repeatedly, it really does change the wiring in your brain, which is why affirmations work so well. But it's like every day we wake up and choose this new positive lifestyle for six weeks. And so it's a court like, you know, like, of course you change. And I came home and I really wanted to maintain this new attitude that I had built for myself, because I was like, there's no way in hell, I am going back to my old life or how I was being before because I wasn't happy with it. And I finally found happiness. And I've always craved. And so I dove into spirituality, I or more. So I dove into personal development, which led me to manifestation which led me to spirituality. And here I am today. And after my study abroad trip, I actually launched a blog, because everybody was like, Oh my gosh, Mikayla, like, you do all these things. And you travel and you're so positive and you have so much energy after my transformation. Everybody wants to know, like, how do you do it? So I launched a blog, and it's kind of like a Get your shit together, vibe. And so I would just write all these blog posts and ended up transforming into like, Okay, well, you can do all this stuff, get your shit together and have a positive mindset. And they can do all this and you can manifest the things you want now and then Okay, now we have the universe on our side. So it kind of just kept evolving, as I did. And here I am today.

Okay, that's amazing. And I think your story is so, so powerful. So when you went abroad, and like set that intention to like, become that version of you that you always wanted to be the version of you that you knew was within you, like, how did you like, bring that version of you out? And maybe before that, it's like, how did you even know who that version of you was? Was it just like this intuition coming up that you knew you were supposed to be? That version of you? Or like, what what did that look like?

Yeah, this is an interesting question that I see in several forms of like, from clients and students of mine. They're like, how do I even know what I want? You know, pick a question, how do I even know who I want to be? And the easiest way to figure that out is like, look at the things you don't want to be. And I knew for the longest time, like, I don't want to be the girl who's like a backstabber talks about people behind their back, because that doesn't feel good. And I used to be involved in friend groups who were like that, or like, you know, friend groups in high school you like, like each other over a mutual dislike of somebody, I'm like, I don't want that anymore. So that was something I was like, okay, not that I want friends that I feel like really happy positive around. And so it was just kind of flipping all the things that I knew I didn't want to be like, and what what's the opposite of that, that I would want to be like? So it's partly that, and partly just the influences in my life. And you know, the saying, like, you are the sum of the five people, you're surrounded by the most like, every fucking person. So I went online, and for me, like, I thought of that in terms of the people I wanted to be like, those five people that I would watch their YouTube videos or listen to their podcasts, or, you know, just you see in movies, like all like the happy girls in high school, I was like, okay, that's like the vibe that I want. And third way I didn't know who that version of me was, is, I would see other people living like that and being that person and living in this kind of like magnifying vibe. And I would just be jealous. You know, when we're jealous of somebody or when we're triggered by something, it's because they have something that we want, or they are like electrifying, something that you don't necessarily like about yourself that you're trying to push down. So I would go to like, you know, parties or I would meet people in college who were always outgoing and happy and like they had all the friends and stuff and I'd be like, Oh my god, like was so annoying. Like, oh, things are like a business majors is always this time to like, do all these things. It's like it was really because I just wanted a life like hers. I just wanted to unapologetically be like her. So it was kind of those three steps like reversing the things that you don't like what's the opposite of that? Looking at You know, who are you looking up to? Like, who are the influencers, the celebrities, you know, the thought leaders that you look up to, and then who triggers you and why like what triggers you about certain people. So that's kind of how I developed this version of me that I wanted to be. And really the key thing, the very core of it was the type of girl who lights up every room she walked into, and that was something I clung on to. And so how did I actually become that on a trip, it was really, really scary. Because when you just change who you are, you're like, Oh, my God, is somebody gonna call me out like this, maybe you're an imposter. You don't actually act like this. But it's like, you just have to go in full force, and not turn back. This is a huge thing in medical station as well around like, energetic decisions, when you make an energetic decision, you just need to decide and go and just move and energetically take your action and get in alignment. And don't question it just keep moving forward, like one step at a time. And that's basically what I did on my study abroad trip. And like, every person I met, okay, well, like let's say, Hi, let's introduce ourselves with a lot of energy with a big smile, let's present ourselves, well, it's like look cute for school every day, and really put in an effort, it was like, all of these little one foot in front of the other steps that lead to the big transformation.

Wow, that's so amazing. And I love how you like mentioned that when we're jealous of someone else, it's essentially just like, showing us what we want. And next step of looking at that is like, Okay, well, what if it's showing us what we want? And it's proof that we can have it?

Yep, exactly. There's so much proof all around us. And I have a lot of conversations with my clients are like, Oh, I want to make this much money this month. Or, oh, I want to manifest this trip, or I want to, you know, buy this car, oh, I want to get this apartment. But I don't know if I can do it. Like I've never done it before. I can't get behind it. I'm like, screw what you've done before, go look at somebody who's already done it and just like, pay attention to that and think that you are that person. There's so much evidence around us because like, I can easily say like, Oh my gosh, being a billionaire is like so far away, like, Oh my gosh, I don't even know if I could do it. I'm making excellent. Now how the hell Will I ever be a billionaire? And it's like, well, instead of just talking myself out of my dreams, I could just go look for examples of billionaires, there's Kylie Jenner, there's Bill Gates or Warren Buffett, there's, you know, all of these people is Elon Musk, you know, there's stuff exists, like I can go and actively seek those examples of it is true. So it's like, anytime you're triggered, you get to use that as proof. And then you can find further proof, you just have to look for it.

Yes, I so agree with that. And then you can have so much gratitude. It's like, oh, thank you for making it so clear to me exactly what I want. Like, now I have that clarity. It's great. So yeah, I know, you brought up of like how important it is to like make that like intention and that decision, and I like totally agree. It's like that decision of like, I'm fucking doing this that like creates that, like, snowball effect of transformation. So I would like love to hear your thoughts on how you like, made that choice every single day. I know, you said you chose to step into that version of you, like, every day for six weeks. So like, how did you continue to make that choice and make that choice like every single day?

Yeah, and this is super fascinating. Because we all have those days where maybe you are being a new version of yourself, you're really embodying the next level, or you're sticking to your rituals, and you feel really good. And then something happens, right, the other shoe drops, and you're like, Oh, my God, like a shitty thing happens or something goes wrong. And that's the most important moment, the moments where you would normally the old version of you, we get angry, we get annoyed, we get upset, and would react in a certain way. It's those moments that really tested me because it's like, Okay, well, are you going to go back to your old like negative habits? Like are you going to basically blow your cover? Or are you still going to go all in and to changing who you are, it's a decision right there and then to make as well. And this comes down to like, what I call hyper self awareness, just being really conscious of what's going on inside of your mind, and what are your patterns and habits. And obviously, I didn't know too much about that at the time. So it really looks like a specific example of this would be I tested into one French level at the school, you would take a test to see like what classes you would take and I tested in a level way lower than I actually needed. So they bumped me up like three levels on the second day of school and I was thrown into a class that I was definitely ready for but really overwhelmed by and after the first day I remember just wanting to go back to my house and just like cry of frustration and like fear and doubt that my friends were like, Oh my gosh, like let's go grab a coffee after school and do homework together. So it was in that moment where there's this part of me who's super frustrated, who's scared Who's like I don't know if I can do this, I'm gonna crack. And then there's the other side of me who has these friends that I'm showing up for every day being this nice happy go lucky, everything's fine girl like, Am I going to go hang out with them? And like, talk to them about what I'm going through? Or am I going to go cry and like, throw fit like, well, Mikayla was alone in her room. It's like, every moment you're presented with choices and opportunities. It's just Which one are you going to take? Are you going to take the easy one? Or are you going to take the next level one? And it's, it's honestly that simple. You just have to open your eyes to seeing it.

Yeah, I love that. And I think I think most of us default to what would the old we do? Because we don't have that awareness? Because we're not setting that intention. But like, what if we, in those moments, choose to ask ourselves like, Okay, well, what, what is the old me trying to get me to do here? And like, what would this new version of me do? And like, see if you can, like, yeah, just go with what the new version of you were doing? Sounds like, that's exactly what you did.

Yeah, exactly. And there's two things I would say about that. Two tips that I kind of give my clients and students is, first of all, when you're developing your own hype, or self awareness, so I call it hyper self awareness. Because I do this all like hyperspeed. You know, I'm like, being super aware, super fast all the time. Like the second I have a negative thought, or limiting belief, or something low vibe, like enters my body, I always know almost immediately. And so when you're developing this for yourself, the way you can start to be conscious of your thoughts and your decisions. It's like literally every 30 minutes, like set an alarm on your phone that goes off. And it's like, What are you thinking right now? What are you thinking right now, and it'll go off all day, and you're gonna be like, this is so annoying, but you're just gonna start to know what's going on in your mind at all times. Because you're used to asking yourself now, that's how you even know, you're presented with a choice, because old me would have looked at that as like, I don't even have a choice like I'm in a bad mood, I'm going to go off and be by myself, I wouldn't even have thought about that. But since I decided I was going on this trip, being the next little version of me, I saw that I was now open to all these choices, because the very first choice I made was to be the better version of myself. So you just have to be aware of what's going on in your head first, you didn't know you have that decision. And then the second tip is, when you come down to making the decision, I have a very simple way of deciding this. What is the choice from a loving space? And what is the choice from a lack based space? Or like a low vibe fear based space? Is it a loving decision? Or is it a lacking decision, the lacking in the example I gave would have been going home and like being angry by myself, but the loving one would be enjoying my time and going and hanging out my friends and talking about how I feel it's connecting with other people. So it's like, okay, start to become aware of your thoughts. Ask yourself all day, every day, what am I thinking right now? And then you're presented with the decision? is this? What's the loving choice? And what's the lacking choice? And that will really help you decide which way to move?

Okay, this is so good. So, I know you talked a lot about like shifting out of that low vibe. And I think like the example you just gave is such a powerful way to do that is like making a choice that your higher self would make, because inevitably that's going to lead you to feeling higher vibe, but like what are your other, like tips for shifting out like, have a low vibe or when those like negative thoughts come up? Or all that self doubt comes up? Like, how how do you shift out of that?

Yeah, shifting is probably the most important thing that we learn to do, I find a personal development because once you're aware of your thoughts, and all these choices, you're like, aware of everything else going on, you're aware of how you feel all the time, you're aware of your fears, you're aware of your doubts and limits. So learning to shift and shift quickly is super important. So I guess the very first foundational thing that I had to teach myself about shifting is have a shitty five minutes and not a shitty day, we so often will start our day and like I love the example like your alarm didn't go off, you spilled coffee on yourself, you had to get gas before work and like it just seems like everything is working against you. You can choose to be like oh my god, this is gonna be such a shitty day and have it ruin the rest of your day. Or you can say, Well, that was a rough morning, but we're gonna make the rest of the day you know, worth it just fine and beautiful and perfect the way it's supposed to be. So it's that choice to have a shitty five minutes instead of a shitty day. So it's the same thing when it comes to low vibes. Like you can wake up feeling really anxious and stressed about the day and you can give yourself those five minutes to feel that but then choose to have something else choose to feel something else choose to give yourself better throughout your day. And I think that is like the first and foremost most important part like yourself those five minutes but then move I always say move energetically move and then to actually shift that there's several things that I like to do. I like like to move my body whether that's like going swimming in my pool or doing a workout. I love EFT, tapping, just talking through what I'm feeling, and doing last month. I love tapping. It's so good. I'm actually doing a challenge right now where I tap every single day for the rest of 2020. It's so good. Hi, darlings.

Yeah, gosh, she's amazing. That's how I got into tapping a few months ago. And I've been like, loving it. I did it for 21 days straight a few weeks ago, and it was so powerful. So I think I need to get on this bandwagon of the rest of the year. It's so good. I'm like loving it. And I actually just had this moment yesterday, I was like, sitting in my backyard blogging for a YouTube video. And I was just like, talking about how I was on my d3 topping every day. And I'm like, I just have this overwhelming sense that overcame me like this is going to change my life, you know, and those moments where like, I don't know, how or in what way or what its gonna look like, but I just know it's gonna change everything. So I love tapping right now, it's such a good shifting energy. And I'm also an ogee journal girl, like journaling is the first thing I did in personal development, I write everything down. And when I shift in my journaling, it's the first thing that we're used to doing is like ranting, you know, you open your journal, and you're like, this is going on, and I'm frustrated about that. And you just write down all your feelings. But and I do that, but I get it all out of my system. And then I leave brain that I'm like, Well, what if this worked out this way? And what if that worked out like this? And what if this happened instead? What if I felt this way, and my day could go like that, and just choosing to rewrite the story is super important. So I would say like, it's all about your shame, five minutes, not a shitty day, and then moving your body getting that energy physically out of your body is super amazing. And then shifts what's going on inside of your head, choose a different story, write out your positive what is and decide a different vibe. I love that. And yet it comes back to like being a choice and a decision. And yeah, it's like that quotes, like, was it a bad day? Or was it about five minutes that you milked all day? Like? Why do you think it is that so many of us have such a tendency to milk it all day, it's like one thing goes wrong. And then it's almost like, there's a part of us that like, wants to be like, pocket, the rest of the day is gonna be bad. Like, why do you think we, we do that as humans? Hey, so I hope you're enjoying the episode. Before we get back to it, I want to quickly tell you about one decision that literally changed my life for freaking ever. So I wanted to start a business for years before I actually did anything about it. But then I met Kate, a full time blogger who is making six figures. And by the end of our coffee day, my decision was made, I was starting my business no matter how terrified I was, because I knew I was meant for more. And looking back, I've realized that I'm not making a decision to move towards your dreams is a decision. It's a decision to remain where you are. I seriously can hardly recognize that version of me or my life five years ago, and it just feels so good to be living the life I actually want to be living. And it was all because I was willing to make that one decision to move closer towards what really led me up. And I want this for you too. And I know you're ready for it. So there's a link in the show notes for you to book a free consult with me. And this call might just be your coffee date with Kate that changes everything. So I can't wait to talk to you. The link is in the show notes. I will speak with you soon.

Yeah, I totally think it comes down to childhood memories. Because I think this goes for if you have siblings, or if you're an only child, I have a brother. And it's like, Okay, well if you say you like went outside to play on like a Saturday morning, you fell off your scooter and your knee is leaving. It's like your parents immediately come and take care of you. And you have all the attention. So you're like, Oh, I'm gonna milk this all day. So my parents pay attention to me all day. And it's like, well, then they're not giving my siblings attention. It's just me. And same thing as an only child. Like I have several friends who are only children and they're like, fully never had anybody to play with my parents was always working. I always spent a lot of time alone. So it's like for them. Oh, I have like a stomach ache. I have to stay home from school. And now you want to take care of me all day? No, you have to pay attention to me because there's nobody here to watch me. So I think it's always about like, oh, pity me. So the world like always pays attention to me. And so we really like milk that and we so we start that pattern in childhood and then we grow up and we just don't learn the art of shifting. We don't learn the art of like get back up and go at it because we ended up becoming so groomed at a young age because like of course your parent wants to take care of you when you're hurt or sick or something. And then we grow up and it's just not what we're used to. It comes down to like law of attraction as well like like attracts like. So if you wake up in the morning and your alarm go off, maybe you miss your first meeting, maybe your coffee orders wrong, and you choose the thing about vibration, you're also going to continue to manifest more shitty vibrations and then your boss is going to be upset, you're going to get a flat tire and you're going to have a shitty workout and your dinner is gonna be wrong from your restaurant, like, you're just gonna end up attracting all of those vines, because you chose not to shift because Oh, poor five year old me like skinned their knee and wanted attention. It comes down to like the inner child healing work that we have to do as well.

Yeah, totally. And it's like, when we are able to not choose to go down that like victim spiral and to choose to feel good. Anyways, regardless of our external circumstances, it's like we are now setting this new standard in our life where we don't have to wait on external circumstances to feel good. And like, we get to feel it now. And like when you, like you said, with the repetition earlier, it's like when you repeat that process over and over of choosing to feel good, regardless of the external circumstances, then you set that new standard in your life that you don't have to wait for external circumstances, to feel good.

Exactly. And that's when you're just in your power. You know, you're like, you bring the power back to you. And I think we all like as children and as we grow up with this kind of like the pity victim version of us, I went through a huge phase of that because like I said, every year of high school is so rough for me, like my freshman year, I had a really bad eating disorder. Sophomore year, parents got divorced, junior year, my parents both like left me to move alone or to move on their own. So I lived alone. And then senior year, my dad was a prisoner. So I was like, Oh, my God, the whole world is crashing and burning out my feet. Poor me, poor me, for me. And the reason why I flunked that story for five years, basically, from my freshman year of high school through my freshman year of college before I study abroad trip was because I felt like, Oh, well, it's for me, it's victim me if for Mikayla, then the world owes me something, then you know, I should get special treatment because I had such a hard childhood. And I should get extra this because this is not because all of my life sucks more than you are. So I should be graduate this and it makes you feel like the world literally owes you something. But when you are in that vibration, you're not in your personal power, because you are the CO creator to your life, you are the key to everything. I always like giving the example like you are the key maker to your life, you literally hold all the power to carve a new key to a new door at any point. And it's like when you are in the victimhood the world owes me something. It's it's exactly what you said, it's an external circumstance where you're waiting on someone to save you, you're waiting on someone to give you something you're waiting on someone to pay you, instead of being in your own power and saying, you know what, I've thought this, regardless of all that, and I'm a stronger person, and now I really know what I'm capable of, I'm going to move forward with that confidence that I can continue creating amazing life for myself.

Yes, for sure. And I think that we like, sometimes create the struggle because I feel like we're like trained in this society where like, in order to be deserving of something, it has to have been hard in order for you to get it has to have been a struggle. So we like subconsciously, like create more struggle, so that we can then feel deserving of what we want. But like, what if the struggle wasn't required? What if the victimhood in the struggle and all the pain like wasn't required in order for you to be worthy and deserving of all the things that you want?

Yeah, exactly. I just recorded a podcast episode about this, maybe two or three weeks ago, but it's like, once you fully and completely drop the struggle, the thing I'm most afraid of is on the other side of that, and I had to go through this work for myself for like months, because I had basically been raised in like, hustle, work hard, prove yourself, and then Okay, you live alone. Now you really gotta hustle and take care of yourself, type of family and environment, whatever. And so it was like, the hard work and the struggle was really attached to me. And what I found was like, Okay, well, if it was easy, if everything was in the ease and the flow that I desired, I only had to see a match for things. I only had to just do what I wanted and have fun. What am I afraid of? And what came up for me was I am so afraid that I will be fucking bored out of my my pain. And that was like, the biggest thing that came up for me, I was like, Oh my gosh, it's so easy. Am I gonna get bored. And so it's like, I can lean on to this struggle story. So I wouldn't be bored. But what you find in that is that you're not afraid of being bored when you get there. You're already bored now. And I realized that I was so bored and just like the constant creation, the the constant push and the constant hustle because I was doing all that and I wasn't letting myself Live my actual life. And so it's like, Okay, what are you afraid of on the other side of the struggle? And how can you see that that's already your life and you're just holding yourself back? Because you're afraid of the very life you're already living?

Oh my gosh, yeah, I so resonate with that, like, I definitely clung to the struggle and like working 1000 hours a day like, because yeah, it's like, well, that void of like boredom. We think it's so scary and so uncomfortable. But it's like, the void. When you create that space, when you create that void, when you create that uncertainty of like, well, without the struggle, who am I? And what am I doing? It's in that void, you discover who you're meant to be? It's in that void where the magic happens. Exactly, exactly. And it's, and the crazy thing is with manifestation in life, in general, the majority of our time is spent in the in between anyways, and we're so afraid of it. We're like, what the hell do we do in between?

What do we do while we wait? What do we do between this goal and that goal? What do we do when we're not working? It's like, that's the majority of our life. So it's so crazy that void space in the void is where we also receive, because that's when we finally choose to lean back and live your life. And that's when you're open. And you're in a place of like non resistance when you receive. So it's such a crazy, crazy thing. And I found after realizing this, and working through the boredom stuff, and realizing I was already bored with how certain parts of my life is going, I changed everything. And that comes back to decision you can decide to change and shift everything in any moment. So I started only working two hours a day. So I only work 10 hours a week. And we have so much time to live my life and have fun. That's like how I make the same amount of money if not more, and I do less, and I live more in my life. And now I have time to like read and more time to workout and more time to do tapping and do different like courses and things I want to study and go on walks and hikes. And I just moved to LA this year. And there's so much to do. And see here when we're not locked down. more time to swim in my pool and baking my kitchen. It's like you're not bored, you're not anything that you're afraid of once you just start doing the thing that you want to do. So it's like I was a choice for me to rearrange, work two hours a day, live more of my life, and then create more of a void so I could receive more.

Yes, I love that. And it's like sometimes that void is necessary to discover like what it is that we want to spend our time doing, like how do you not create a void? It's like, yeah, maybe you wouldn't have even known that you love like swimming in your pool and reading and going on hike, hiking and doing all these things, but like, look what that opened up for you. And yeah, it's just, it's so amazing. I'm so okay, I wanted to ask you this kind of like shifting gears a little bit. But that's that's how I roll just all over the place. But anyways, okay, so I wanted to ask you, I like was reading your website this morning, as I told you before this and when I read about being like a rich and ridiculous. That is just great. Like she's really owning who she is and what she's all about. So I would love to hear from you. Like, what does that mean to you? To be rich and ridiculous?

Yeah, I'm gonna start with the ridiculous part. Because the rich is easier to explain, but, but it's ridiculous. Ridiculous. For me, it's just like, being in your full expression, like the wholeness of you, where people would be like, Oh my god, like, that is so Mikayla or oh my gosh, you're being so extra. Oh my gosh, like, that's when people take pictures of things like your friends, they take pictures of things. They're like, this is so new. Like that is like you to your full, ridiculous extent so much you you're not hiding it, none of that. So it's like, for me, I love to like be super weird and super silly. And like me and my boyfriend have all these weird sayings and like weird noises that we make, you know, it's like just be like, really strange and like, running around my house and dancing and just being obnoxious. Might be so noxious and so like, outwardly myself and not giving a single fucking, for me ridiculous and also defined by some of my friends. When I was talking about this new version of branding. I actually just started that brand new in January. They were like, well, let's I asked them. I was like, What is this? So Mikayla? And they're like, I don't know, like pink cars and like only designer handbags, and five star hotels and all that and so it's like, that's also me being ridiculous. It's just accepting like, yeah, I only want to fly first class. Yes, I only want to stay like the Ritz Carlton. Yeah, I want to order room service. And I don't want to lift a finger and that's okay. Yeah, I want to take a bath at 3pm just because I can and yeah, I only carry design. bags because that's what I like. So it's just the fullness of you express is the ridiculous part. So ridiculously you basically. And rich is obviously like wealthy rich and money, but it's also rich and all of the areas of your life like really rich relationships and conversations and experiences, obviously, your bank account, and I'm just so rich business or a career where you feel really fulfilled. And all of that, like, it's just for me rich is like depth. It's like you have depth in your bank account you have you know, all your fingers in your bank account, you have depth in your relationships, where you're really connected to your partner and your family and your friends. You're really connected to the things you're doing on a day to day basis, whether that be a workout or your journaling session, or just like playing with your pets, if you have them. It's it's kind of like the ridiculous being the fullness of you. But it's like the depths of you is the rich side.

I love this. So for someone who is struggling to like, be the full expression of them, selves are scared someone else might think something or that though, like fail, or whatever it is, like, how would you tell them to like get into that energy of like, being so themselves that they don't give a fuck or not giving a fuck so that they can be so?

Yeah, that's probably the scariest thing we learned. We learned throughout life is basically competence and just learning to trust yourself. Because society really does not teach you to trust yourself at all, you know, like, not even goes back to school and everything's like, make sure you ask the question and peer review and double check your answers. And it comes back to trusting yourself trusting that you are always going to be safe, trusting you are always going to be okay trusting and being the fullness of you is what you were meant to do on this earth. And that is how things should be you know, like, that's how things are supposed to be. You're just supposed to be you unapologetically. One thing that really shifted the competence for me because I used to struggle with competence a lot like my eating disorder did a number on me, I have body dysmorphia issues still, it's like, that's something we're still always working on. But what really resonated with me is I started to take different programs and work with different coaches who are all older than me, they were all like 30 or 35 when I started this injury industry when I was like 20. So I was significantly younger. And everybody was like, once you're 30 4050 you literally don't give a fuck about what people think like you just don't. And I've watched so many videos and they're like, advice I would have given to myself in my 20s is don't care about what people think. And you just hear that so odd. At some point, you just need to flick the switch and be like, Okay, you know what, I actually don't give a fuck, and it's scary, but it's just something you have to jump in and do. And I remember when I like came out with a spiritual closet, basically, I'm actually from Nebraska and it's really like a kind of conservative place where everybody's like Christian or Catholic, and nobody is really witchy or outwardly spiritual. So I was terrified to like, post on my Instagram stories about you know, spirituality and talk about manifestation even I have my very first tattoo was like an earth sign because I'm a Capricorn. And I was so scared to just post it on Facebook with a description of what it meant because of what people thought, but I did it anyways. And literally one of my family members saw my tattoo and they just commented Colts. And I'm like, Great, okay, so you think I'm going to call you like, I just don't fucking care. I know what this needs to be. And their opinion literally doesn't affect anything in my life. So you kind of just have that draw in the sand moment where you're like, I just choose to not care anymore. And you have to bet on yourself for maybe the first time in your life and trust that you will be okay being yourself and being the full expression of you every time.

Yes, and it's like it's almost like the wall it's kind of like the with the boredom thing you were saying it's like you're already bored you're already probably like scared of judgment and feeling judgment or maybe already getting judged. So like, why not be you and live the best life you can be? Be or feel judged anyways, you may as well have what you want and do what you want. Do what feels good for you.

Exactly. And I was actually on a call with one of my coaches last month and she some one of the girls within the program was talking about how she was so afraid of like talking about money online. She's like, I don't want people to judge me for having money or thinking I'm now unrelatable because of money and coaches like people are gonna judge you when you're poor and when you're rich like it does not matter and I literally like commented and like the chat box of our call and I'm like, I rather cry my Lamborghini, okay. Oh, people are gonna judge you either way. Like you pick like spectrum you want to be on and I mean it's just like be the fullness of you are What is the point of life, you know, you're just not even going to experience the fullness of you. And I have a deep belief that we are spiritual beings and a human body like having a human experience. And you don't know if you're going to choose to incarnate after this and come back to earth or not like you don't consciously know that right now. So maybe this is the first time you'll be on Earth. Maybe it's the only time you'll be on Earth. Maybe you won't be on earth for another 500 years, but you might as well experience the fullness of the human you while you're here?

Yes, Yes, for sure. And like, I think that so many people, especially they have such a fear around like, showing and expressing their abundance and their wealth and even letting them selves receive luxury things. So is that something that you ever struggled with? Like feeling like guilty for receiving, like, really nice things? Or guilty for flying first class? Or like, what are they gonna like, think of me if I first fly first class? So question one, did you ever experienced that too, if you did, like how did you, like, get over the fear of allowing yourself to have the luxury lifestyle that you wanted?

Yeah, it's super funny because I grew up in like a upper middle class family before my life turned into should show we were really very well off. My dad owned a company and then everything kind of went downhill after like the stock market crashed in like 2008 or so. So I was grown. I grew up with like having a lake house and we had a boat and my mom had a jeep and we would get our like hair cut every six weeks, you know, like the boozy like American Dream type of life. And then everything crashed and burned and be like lost all of our money like lost the cars lost the boat, the cabin, literally everything you're living on food stamps, no insurance, like picking up canned foods from the church type of life. And so went from being able to have it all to not being able to hide anything other than the necessities. And as I grew up, I still like always knew I wanted that sushi lifestyle. Like that was how I was raised. And I that's what I kind of knew. And that's what I enjoyed. So living in the struggle was really weird for me, and I knew I never wanted to be there again. So when I started making my own money for myself, I would tell myself, you know, I have my bags, my shoes, and I go on tons of trips, and we're not in lockdown and all that. And I said this thought this year, I was I lived in Bali for like three and a half months, the beginning of this year, and I came back just to move to LA. Um, I had this thought when I was in Bali, I did one of my visa runs to Malaysia, and I flew there and I stayed at the Ritz Carlton and it was super nice. And I basically just soaked in a giant tub in order room service for 24 hours, and then went back to Bali. But at this point, I'm like, Oh my gosh, like am I be irresponsible? Like, am I being irresponsible paying rent in the states and also paying rent in Bali, and then like paying to go on visa runs and paying for this and paying for that. And I started to feel bad about how I was spending my money. And it's like, I was so good at receiving and I'm still unapologetic about it. But then I started to feel bad about the spending habits. And I stopped myself out of that really quickly because I thought about people who are not thinking even further in the future people who are like, you know, 70 8090 years old and they always tell like their grandkids and people in interviews that they wish they had just like lived their life. Everybody says when you're young travel, see the world do all these things. make these mistakes, live your life and here I was living my life and feeling bad about it. And like I'm doing what everybody tells you to do. You know, like, okay, took me advice from 30 year olds. I'm not giving a fuck, I took the advice from the eight year old, I'm living my damn life. I don't need to feel bad about, like, when I look back and I'm like, you know, 90 and then a boozy nursing home I'm gonna be like, I lived one hell of a life. So you just have to snap yourself out of it. Honestly, when you have those thoughts and I mean, I've had times where I'm when I was still in university, I bought myself a YSL bag as a school tote. I'm like, I want a school bag. I'm buying YSL bag for like $100,000 on it. And I went to school, my friends, like how much was that? And I was like, I'm like 999 she was like, What the fuck Mikayla? And I was like, I was like, but I want something nice and want something durable and I was like I like it's less I'm gonna buy and learn to judge you for it. Why not judge you for it? But are you happy with it? Does it make you feel expanded? Does it make you excited? If yes, then just do it. Don't think about it.

Yes, amen I love all of that so much. Okay, so the last thing I want to ask you is what is your daily ritual like I know you're all whoo and love the ritual like so I I'd love to hear what yours are.

Yeah. So my rituals, I basically do the same things every day, but I do them in different orders. And honestly, this point, I feel like my entire life is a ritual, like a shaman where everything you do add them to your work. But every day, I'll just tell you the things that I do every single day. So usually, I mean, I wake and we'll wake up and we'll make the bed. And we do two crossword puzzles. First thing in the morning, like really activate your brain. First thing, I always always make the bed because like, clear room clear mind. So make the bed and also you get to like check something off your list first thing in the morning. So it's like, if you do nothing else all day, at least you made your bed and that feels really good to your brain. So I always do those two, we order coffee, and we go pick up our coffee every day. And that's usually when I do kind of like a mental gratitude practice. Because the coffee I buy every day, it's like $5.50, literally every day of my life. And I'm like, wow, I'm so grateful that I can just buy an expensive coffee every single day of my life and not even think about it or worry about it or blink on it. Because when I was a freshman in college, I used to go to Dunkin Donuts very strategically a happy hour to get a $1 iced coffee or I like wouldn't have coffee that day, you know. And so I just give a lot of gratitude for that. And I also have this spiritual belief that the universe is working for me when I pick up my daily coffee. So I'm like, Oh, I'm grateful the universe is bringing my manifestations in. I'm getting my booty Poppy. I'm happy life is good. So that's cool. Yeah, being super intentional with that. And then I come home. And this is why I will do a variety of my practices in no specific order. So I try and work out every single day I do at home workouts right now because my gyms closed because I live in LA and everything is close. By you at home workout. I do journaling every single day, at least three pages. Usually it's more. I take an ice cold shower every single morning, fully freezing cold, full power. It's brutal. It's amazing. I love it. And the reason why I do that is there's like, there's so many health benefits to the ice cold showers and it's good for your circulation and all that boring stuff that you can Google. But the reason why I do it specifically, is for two main reasons. One, mental toughness. And like mental toughness, knowing that this is the hardest thing I'm literally going to do all day, like when I step in that freezing cold shower and my body, yeah, goes into panic mode, because it thinks I'm freezing and dying. And like this is physically The hardest thing I will do all day. I can do this. And it's only for three minutes. So you really build up this mental toughness of like, I can do this, it is three minutes when it's over the rest of the day is a piece of cake. And so that really like builds you up with discipline and stamina and just, you know, going following through with things and then the second main reason why I do it is because avoidance. So the number one like human coping mechanism is to avoid when something's uncomfortable, we mean that our body tries to push away pain. When somebody when your friend needs to upset or overstep the boundary. We just try to avoid them and we avoid the conversations you have with anything uncomfortable. And I found myself doing this for quite a while and it was getting kind of bad. I was literally avoiding people avoiding touch avoiding emails, and I was like, Okay, I can't keep this up. Like, this is not a high vibe habit. This is not something I want to bring to the next level with me. And so when you take a cold shower, you literally force yourself to lean into the pain every single day. So this is also kind of a mental toughness thing, but it's like, I don't avoid pain because I lean into it every single morning. So that's a huge part of my practice. Is that shower? What else do I do? I listen to the daily stoic podcast every single day while I'm in the shower because their episodes are only three minutes long and we talk a lot about like strength and temperance. So I find it really grounds me to do that I do my skincare routine every single day I pull cards often but not every single day I have on my desk right now though work your light Oracle deck by Rebecca cancel. So good. And then I do my EFT tapping every single day like we talked about. I think that's everything.

Wow, okay, this I'm like, shocked by how awesome this is. And yeah, now that you like mentioned, I honestly like without even saying I'm going to talk every single day. I think since I've done the 21 Day Challenge. I've probably done it like 90% of days because it just feels so good. So you have like super motivated me to be like, okay, every day, it's non negotiable. It's done. So I'm going to do that. So thank you and for everyone listening, join. Join us in this Sunday passage on Instagram. Let us know you're joining us. So we can be in and together and motivate each other. Um, okay, but also about the shower. Okay, one of my friends, um, she's mentioned the same thing, but I think the two ways you talked about if like, this is the hardest thing I'll do all day like what a freeing fucking thought, like, wow the rest of the day. Because if I could do this, like I can do anything. And yeah, just like letting like stopping that habit of avoiding the pain and like leaning into the, into the discomfort and I think that like growing does bring up so much discomfort. So if it's like if your brain is trained to lean into that discomfort, then your growth can happen like so much faster so maybe maybe I'll experiment the cold shower, I'm I'm in pain just thinking about it. But everybody does that is sounds really powerful. So I'll have to try it and let you know how painful so I honestly feel like it's changed my life. And I saw something on Instagram once I think gala darling actually posted that on a story. But it was like this guy said, I have you know, like a multi million dollar friend who owns several businesses. And I emailed him to connect me with somebody and he responded in three minutes, like successful people move fast. You know, you make your decisions quickly, you move you move into it. And that's why I feel like I've developed while taking the cold showers as well, because it's not something I think about anymore, either. You know, it's every morning you could wake up and be like, Oh my god, I take my cold shower. Should I take it now? Should I take it later? So a good morning workout? Should I do it after like the spiral and think way too fucking much like wake up in the morning and say, Okay, we're gonna take a cold shower, like successful people move fast. They lean into what's presented to them, they fix it, they clean it up, they solve it, they move on. And it's been so powerful for me. I've absolutely loved it. And I remember one of my best friends who lives in Bali. He was telling me about how he's German. He used to live in Germany. And he was like, when I was in Germany, I take cold shower every day. And I'm like, that sounds horrible. That is crazy. No way in hell. Here I am now taking them every single day.

Wow, that's, that's amazing. And it actually reminds me I was in Ohio. Have you ever been there?

No.

Where's that?

It's like, it's pretty close to LA. Oh, you've got to go. It's like a little like hippie town. I don't know if anything's out. But there's like lots of hiking. It's a little hippie town. There's hot springs. There's like all of these like apothecaries, and like very like very like spiritual place, but they have this hot springs where you can go for two hours. You can't bring a phone you can't talk. It's like totally silent two hours, which like I've Yes, I've ever been totally silent for two hours. Really transformational. But next to the hot springs is like this ice fucking cold, little like Creek. And my sister was with me. And we like decided to get in the creek for that very reason of being like, you know what, like, This is hard. And I can do hard things like, yeah, I can do this. Like I can do anything. So I actually really resonate with all of that. Okay, so before we use tell us where we can hang out with you and find out more about you. Is there anything else that's like on your heart or coming through that you wanted to share that we didn't already talk about? Hmm.

I feel like I've said this so many times throughout the episode. I love to leave people with this. Like, just decide and go and when you make a decision, whether it's like for yourself a decision to manifest something, a decision to do something and go somewhere, just decide and move and make it happen. A lot of people complicate manifestation they complicate goal setting and it gets to be as simple as this. I used to live in Nebraska and I moved from Nebraska to LA and people asked me all the time, Mikayla, how did you manifest moving across the country? How to Memphis me to LA and I said, I made the decision. I was moving to LA I packed my shit and I moved to LA like it. Yeah. And the only things that come along with that is okay, I need to pack my stuff. Okay, this is how we're transporting the cars Okay, this is the Airbnb we're gonna stay in until we get the house Okay, now we got the house like you plan your action steps and the universe will do its magic behind the scenes but remember, decide and move and the action steps that you take and you feel called to take will always be enough the universe will always match your efforts. So just decide and move who I love the like our thoughts and actions are always getting us there. We don't need to like worry about adding up. Yeah. Oh my gosh, so good. Okay, where can we find you?

Oh my gosh, okay, so come hang out. On Instagram and like an od with the ID stories you want to watch my stories every day, I promise you. I mean Mikayla Jai on Instagram. I also have a vlog channel on YouTube if you want to see what I'm up to on the daily and I'm just Mikayla Jai on YouTube. And then you can tune into my podcast, which is super amazing. It's called the mindset magic and manifestation podcast.

Thank you so much, Mikayla. If you guys liked this episode, or resonated with anything from it, screenshot it and tag us on Instagram so we can share it and Mikayla can add it to her amazing repertoire of stories. Yeah. Yeah, so thank you guys so much for listening and thank you Mikayla, so much for being here and sharing your magic.

Thank you so lovely. On Instagram I want to connect.

I'm so grateful for your listening today. If this resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you'd hit subscribe and leave a review on iTunes and everybody is invited to the after party, which takes place every day on Instagram at magneticallyyou. So come hang out with us there. And if you're really fired up about mindset, spiritual and personal development heads, magneticallyyou.com to check out all the fun stuff I have going on there like my coaching, and my courses, free workshops, all the good stuff and I will see you on the next episode.